1990′s Nicktoons Return and this Cheap Ass Doesn’t Have Cable

1990′s Nickelodeon has been back for two nights now.  And I haven’t seen a damn episode.

I was so excited that these cartoons were coming back to television, and I still am.  And I think the fact that I am this excited and still haven’t seen an episode is a testament to my frugal nature.  In other words, I’m a cheap ass.

When I moved back to Ohio, I decided that I was going to be as frugal as possible.  Not because I don’t have a good paying job (I’m very lucky to have a job that allows me to support myself and pay all my bills, and still have money left over) that I love, but because once I got a job, I immediately thought, “I’m going to save for the future!”

In my head, my being a frugal little shit meant my kids were going to have college funds (should they choose to go), that I could have a great down payment on a house someday, that I could attempt to pay for my wedding by myself.  That I could take that road trip across the United States.

So I maintain my cheap ass-ness.  And here’s how:

1. No cable.  Just Hulu and Redbox.
2. I buy almond milk (longer expiration date) and mix it with water (because it’s so thick) for my cereal.
3. I eat a lot of canned things…because it’s cheaper that way (I believe the sodium will preserve me better-pfft).
4. I do not use lights if I have a television screen or computer screen on.  Candles candles candles.
5. The heat is never turned on above 62 degrees.
6. The air is never on for more than 2 hours a day.
7. I go to the grocery store once a month and spend around $100 because I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING (no fresh fruits and veggies for me).
8. I run/walk my neighborhood because I refuse to drive somewhere to work out.
9. I RARELY eat meals with unless it’s with Mike on the weekends (Mike rarely lets me pay anyway).
10. I don’t eat or drink at sporting events.
11. I carry granola bars around with me.
12. A 94% fat free box of popcorn usually lasts me for about two weeks of lunches.
13. I fill up my garbage bags until they’re bursting.
14. I don’t drive anywhere I don’t have to.
15. I will watch my seasons of Roseanne and That ’70s Show over and over and over again if there is nothing on Hulu.
16. I fall in love with purses from J. Crew, and then never buy them.
17. I enjoy myself.

Please do not think for one minute that my quality of life is suffering.  I enjoy everything I do.  I do miss out on some things (like those damn 90′s Nicktoons) but the truth is that I can live without them.

It is by no means an admirable life of minimalistic thoughts or tendencies.  Just be thinking further ahead in life. 

 

90s Nickelodeon Cartoons to Return!

OH yes.  Take THAT.  If you’ll please first refer back to the post in which I tell you that I can, in fact, predict the future, we’ll go from there.

Are you finished reading it?  Okay.  So it’s true.  I can predict the future.  I said that often, I write things down and they come to fruition–much like the time that I wrote about how NICKELODEON CARTOONS SHOULD COME BACK.  You heard right, bloggy readers.  I did it again.  I will 1990′s Nickelodeon cartoons back onto the air!

Hold on.  Watch our beloved Kenan Thompson explain it to you:

According to Mashable:   “TeenNick, one of many networks under the Nickelodeon brand name, will air four-hour blocks of “classic” (by generation Y standards) Nickelodeon original content between the hours of midnight and 4 am.”

Starting Monday, July 25 at midnight, WE WIN!  Here’s the line-up:

“As Nickelodeon fan site Nickutopia shares, this is the lineup of shows that TeenNick will be airing during “The ’90s Are All That”:

• Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
• The Adventures of Pete & Pete
• All That
• The Amanda Show
• Are You Afraid of the Dark?
• Catdog
• Clarissa Explains it All
• Double Dare
• Doug
• Hey Arnold!
• Kenan & Kel
• Legends of the Hidden Temple
• Nickelodeon GUTS
• The Ren & Stimpy Show
• Rocket Power
• Rocko’s Modern Life
• Rugrats
• Salute Your Shorts
• The Secret World Of Alex Mack

In addition to these shows, “The ’90s are All That” will feature special appearances from popular Nickelodeon Stick Stickly. Frankly, I think I’m most excited about the return of Stick Stickly.” -Mashable

STICK STICKLY!  I blatantly wrote about Stick Stickly here.  I am just so so so excited!  I might have to get myself cable for this.  Really, I might.  Because this is the most glorious thing I have heard in MONTHS!

 

1990′s Nostalgia: Hey Arnold!

Kid shows just aren’t what they used to be.  Everything is so damn educational now.  What happened to fun?  Sure, I agree that the TV can be used for educational purposes, but crimenetlies!  I’m just tired of all these people acting like TV was so bad.  We all turned out alright.  And the truth is that TV is meant for entertainment.  The beauty of being a kid is that you’re not forced to learn all day, and you’re not forced to work all day.  Sometimes, you just want to sit back and watch TV.

And let’s be honest–what adult doesn’t have some silly indulgence, be it a reality show or some other nonsense.  I love love LOVE the Real Housewives of New Jersey, but darnit, I know I’m not learning a thing from it.

So today, we rejoice in Hey Arnold!, and all it’s glorious characters.  From football-shaped heads, to unibrow girls in pink dresses, this is for you, Hey Arnold!

Below I have included an 11:00min clip (calm down!  it’s a damn cartoon-enjoy it) which culminates in that glorious episode in which Stoop Kid is afraid to leave his Stoop.  You will be chanting it in your head the rest of the day.

 

1990′s Nostalgia – Nickelodeon

The 1990′s are my golden age.  The music, the movies, the world.  Most people long for the days that they were in high school, but lemme tell ya–2000-2003 were not that grand.  Apart from holding onto my first relationship those years, and playing a little hide-n-seek in the cornfields, it kinda sucked.  Y2K was nothing, and then there was 9/11, not to mention heading off to college was some looming travesty for me.

BUT, everything turned out great, and the college years have a golden sheen on them, too.  To be honest, everything in my life has been pretty golden.  I suppose it’s just that the 1990′s are the decade that I long for…much in the way that I long for the 1950′s (even though I’ve never been there).

The 1990′s to me were odd and wonderful, grungy and poppy, Chumbawumba lovin’, teenyboppin’, horrible dance hit Hammer-Pants, Salutin’ my shorts and watching cartoons that I wasn’t supposed to.

So the first reason the 1990′s were golden to me?

GAH my world revolved around Nickelodeon!  Remember in the summertime, they’d have Stick Stickly in the afternoon?  I LOVED him.

U-Dip, U-Host, U-Pick!  It was effing brilliant!  And he’d let you pick you own shows, pick what to dip him in!  Seriously, best host ever.  I wish he would have been a VJon MTV (although Jesse Camp kind of rocked my world).

And Nickelodeon offered the best cartoons/television shows, some of which I will delve into at a later date) (Thanks, Wiki!):

1 100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd A Aaahh!!! Real Monsters The Adventures of Pete & Pete All That Allegra’s Window The Amanda Show The Angry Beavers Animorphs (TV series) Are You Afraid of the Dark? B The Brothers Flub Bump in the Night (TV series) C Caitlin’s Way The Carol Burnett Show CatDog Clarissa Explains It All Cousin Skeeter D Don’t Just Sit There Double Dare (1986 game show) Doug E Eureeka’s Castle F Figure It Out

G Get the Picture (game show) Nickelodeon GUTS H Hey Arnold! Hey Dude Hi Honey, I’m Home! Hillside (TV series) I Inspector Gadget J The Journey of Allen Strange K KaBlam! Kenan & Kel Kids Court L Land of the Lost (1991 TV series) Legends of the Hidden Temple The Littl’ Bits M Make the Grade Maya the Honey Bee My Brother and Me The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo N Nick Arcade (game show) Nickelodeon Launch Box Noozles

O Oh Yeah! Cartoons P Pinwheel (TV series) R The Ren & Stimpy Show Rocket Power Rocko’s Modern Life Roundhouse (TV series) Rugrats Rupert (TV series) S Salute Your Shorts The Secret World of Alex Mack SK8-TV Space Cases SpongeBob SquarePants T The ’90s Are All That U U to U W Weinerville Welcome Freshmen What Would You Do? Wild and Crazy Kids The Wild Thornberrys Y You’re On!

 

Cartoon Crushes

This morning, when I asked my co-worker if he’d ever had a crush on a cartoon, he just looked at me with his chin drawn back to his chest, his eyes skeptical, and said, “No?”

“I have,” I said. And I know plenty of other folks who have, too. So today, I write a tribute to my cartoon crushes.

1) Trent Lane – from Daria

Trent Lane. Oh Trent Lane.  What you do to my cartoon heart.  You were on one of the best cartoons of all time.  Not to mention, you were the cute older brother.  Everyone loves the cute older brother.  Your slacker ways are forgivable because of your angular face and dark hair, your tattoos, and your band, Mystik Spiral.  You play guitar.  You have a duck phone that quacks.  You are wildly uninvolved with the world around you and no matter how much Daria pined for you, you did not care.  Which is what are women are attracted to.  I feel that you probably would have been too cool for me in high school, but that I might have had a chance after graduation, say on a Drunksgiving.  Your nonchalance and slow speech makes you number 1 on my list of cartoon crushes.

 

 

 

 

2)  Doug Funny – from Doug

Doug Funny, you funny man.  You’re a super hero named Quailman, and you’re not afraid to wear your underwear on the outside of your pants.   You find multiple ways to use objects, such as belts and felt Q’s.  You’re versatile.  And you pine away from Patty Mayonnaise (anyone else noticing a lot of pining?).  The point is that you’re a stand-up guy, Doug Funny.  .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3)  Skeeter Valentine – from Doug

As soon as I said it, I knew I’d regret it.  Skeeter Valentine is dreamy.  I mean…he’s the cool best friend who doesn’t seem to care.  He’s the Tim Riggins to Doug Funny’s Jason Street.  And now, I have my crush.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4)  Arnold – from Hey Arnold

Arnold was impossibly funny, impossibly clever, and completely adorable, despite the football-shaped head.  He occasionally saw beauty even in Helga.  And he had pet pigs, and by far the coolest bedroom I’ve ever seen. 

Who are your cartoon crushes?