Deal Breaker # 2: Not Wanting Kids

Read Deal Breaker # 1!

I respect men who don’t want to have kids…but I certainly don’t want to date them.

If you ask me, the whole point of living is to leave a legacy, and what better way to do that than to have children.  Whether they’re biological, adopted, whatever–if you can be a part of a child’s life as they grow up, you can leave a legacy.

Most of you know that I have a condition called Glowing Ovaries.  Luckily, I don’t have to wear thick shirts or extra jackets to hide the two glowing orbs in my midsection, but oh do I feel the glow.  Mostly every time I hold a baby, get near a baby, hear about a baby, see a PICTURE of a baby.  Ugh.  It’s sick, isn’t it?

I want kids so bad.  I look forward to pregnancy.  I just think that the most rewarding thing in the world would be to have children, to make memories for them, to give them something to tell their kids about.

For instance, when it was my birthday, my mom would wake my little brother and my dad and they would sneak into my room while I was still sleeping and decorate it with streamers and balloons and put all my presents on the floor around me bed.  When I woke up, I was surrounded by color and fun and the sheer glee that is having a kid birthday.  We did the same for my brother, probably both of us, every year until we were ten.  I LOVE that.

Think this...but much less organized and much more color.

So I guess that won’t be nearly as fun without a man who wants to do that…much less a man who doesn’t want to give me kids.

Oh, and this post wouldn’t be about kids without at least one adorable baby picture:

Ha ha!

 

What to Expect When You’re Blah Blah Blah…

Yeah yeah yeah, you’re already offended.  Take this all with a grain of salt, as I have never been pregnant, and have never been a mother.

I don’t understand all this crazy “read every book-buy every new gadget-try every new fad” approach to parenting.  Have we not survived years without books on what to expect?  I mean, seriously, my cousins were talking about all of the things you aren’t supposed to do while you’re pregnant and my mom looked at me and said, “I did all of that…”  Then all the tests that they can do before the kid is born?  It’s crazy!

And then once that baby actually is born…it gets worse.  Baby yoga?

WTF is baby yoga?  Let the kid play and take the time to play with it.  There’s its exercise!  Not giving your kids gender roles to follow?  Not disciplining them?  Not letting them get hurt and learning what not to do?  Rushing over every time they bounce on their padded little asses?  Because society tells you to “let their children choose for themselves” and that discipline is “abuse”.  To each their own, though, I guess…

My point is, don’t get over-educated and buy into so much crap just because you “read” about it.  Instinct is good.  You don’t need a book to teach you instinct.

 

My Future Children

If you haven’t noticed by now, I haven an affection for a manly man and a respect for a womanly woman.  That’s not to say that I don’t respect all types of men and women–just that I have an affection for those types of men and women.

I’ve talked a thousand times about how I was raise my kids.  I’ve talked about how I want my boys to be lil rough-housers, little manly men, and I’ve talked about how I want my kids to be tough, much like my friend Jenny wants for her kids.  I hope that I can raise girls who are strong and still have a respect for old values, but still have minds of their own (shocking, isn’t it?)

So I think it’s really funny when people say, “Your daughters are going to be feminists!” or “Your little boys are going to want to crochet…” or “Your kids are going to be geeks who never leave the house.”

I don’t understand why people have such a problem with the way I want to raise my children.  I mean, 1, they’re going to be my kids, and 2, if you don’t like them, you never have to talk to them.  I promise.

I’m not going to brainwash my children.  I’m not going to fight my son if he doesn’t want to hunt, and I’m not going to flip out if my daughter ends up being a tomboy.  They can be whatever they wanna be.

So for the record, if that should happen, I will still love my children.  I will love them no matter what.  But you can bet your ass that I’m going to try like hell to raise manly little men and proper young ladies.  😉

 

Raising My Youngins – Odds and Ends

I will raise them to have reasonable expectations about the world around them.  I will encourage them to follow their dreams, but I will not encourage a fruitless path.  There will be a logical side, and an emotional side to my children.  And most importantly, there will be an awareness for others.

 

Spanking: A Necessity in Child-Rearing

“We’re going to raise a lost generation of children unless they are properly disciplined and properly spanked.” -Charles Eddie Wiseman

Before I started typing this, I had a margarita, a shot of coffee tequila, a tall beer, and a third of a bottle of wine to make myself numb.  I then walked into my bedroom, found my coat of armor, buckled on a softball batting helmet, grabbed a beer, and hid behind the wall leading into my kitchen.  And then, for good measure, I grabbed some rotten tomatoes to throw back at you all once you turn on me, and your fangs begin to show, and your skin starts to sparkle…

Wait.  That’s a fate far scarier than any angry mob.

Ready…I’m gonna say it…oh my goodness—I’m going to spank my children.

It’s true.  I’m going to.  There is NO child above spanking.  God gave us padding on our butts specifically for that purpose.  And the truth is that there is no threat more frightening to a child than a spanking.

Tell them you’re “disappointed” and that “things are going to be different.”  Tell them that they “shouldn’t have done that” or that “they’re grounded.”  It’s not going to do as much as the fear of a spanking will.  And let’s be honest, it’s NOT ABUSE.  It’s NOT politically incorrect.  What it is is discipline.

I’m not saying that spanking should be overused or abused.  It should be reserved for when other methods of discipline don’t work.  Say a kid lies to you about hanging out in a junkyard where you specifically told him not to go.  He was forewarned.  He comes home and says, “But I didn’t know I shouldn’t be there!  And besides, it doesn’t matter.  I didn’t get hurt.”  And as he continues to talk back to you, he rolls his eyes.  Lies, disrespect, and disobedience.  Give the kid one smack on the butt.

And that’s the other thing.  Spanking should never be more than one swift hit.  And never with a paddle or anything besides an open palm. That way, you feel a little bit of that sting, too.  So it hurts you both. Spanking shouldn’t be fun for anyone, but it does need to happen.

I think parents choose to spank out of fear, not out of anger. You spank your kids when they put themselves into danger, or when they’re in danger of becoming horrible adults, when you fear for your children’s lives.  You do it to keep them in check.  It makes them cautious about the right things, the things that could actually put them in danger.  Kids don’t fear anything these days, which is why we have everyone running amuck.  And since spanking has had a bad taboo placed on it over the last few decades, well I’m sorry, but we’ve raised a bunch of fearless hellions.

Let’s get things back on track.  Don’t be afraid to spank your children.  They aren’t going to die, and they aren’t going to be emotionally scarred.  They’ll end up thanking you for it.

I remember all the times that I was spanked, and I deserved every last one of them.  My brother feels the same way.  My father does, too, about all the times he was spanked.   It builds character.

Not to mention, it reminds you that the world is not all cake and meaningless phrases.  It’s action, difficulty, and learning lessons.

Cheers.