Daily Archives: December 2, 2010

Ode to Diet Pepsi

Day ?? → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Diet Pepsi.

I love it.  More than any other beverage in the world.  More than wine, more than beer, more than water.  I freaking LOVE Diet Pepsi.  If Diet Pepsi did a commercial like the Wheat Thins people, where they show up on your doorstep with a ridiculous amount of Wheat Thins if you tweet that you’ve run out of them…I would tweet every day about it.  If I didn’t think the luxurious caramel color would stain my hair, I would swim in it.  If you froze it into popsicles, I would eat them for dinner.  If you gave me a tiny puppy…I just might name him Diet Pepsi (because he is so small–and is probably calorie-free).

And something so good is calorie-free!  I don’t care about fake sweeteners and “bad for you” Phenylketonurics containing phenylalanine.  I just don’t care!  I will guzzle Diet Pepsi all day every day.  Guzzle it.  And I don’t feel bad about that.

When I was in college, my roommate, Kay and I decided we were going to drink an entire cube (24 cans-12 oz. cans) of Diet Pepsi in one night.  We did.  And we were wound up and in and out of the bathroom every fifteen minutes–but my God who needs binge drinking when it comes to beer when you have DIET PEPSI?!

And I have tried to go without it.  I am not afraid to say that I was a bitch.  There is just nothing like a Diet Pepsi in the morning with my cereal.  Something to combat the baseness of milk.  Something fizzy and exciting and acidic.

When I get done running, I grab a Diet Pepsi.

When I wake up in the morning, I grab a Diet Pepsi.

When I take Tylenol, I down it with Diet Pepsi.

When I go on a road trip, I take Diet Pepsi.

I just don’t know how else to express how much I love this stuff.  I’ll drink it warm, flat, in a can, out of a bottle, in a glass.  OH!  Don’t even get me going on fountain Diet Pepsi.  I’m a restaurant’s worst nightmare.  10 refills later, I will use their facilities, and ask for another.

What can’t you live without?


Posted by on December 2, 2010 in Daily Happenings, Desert Island


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