Happy Birthday, Nick Carter.

28 Jan

Happy 31st Birthday, Nick Carter. In an odd, semi-conscious sleep, I dreamt about you last night.  You know I’ve always been a sucker for that squeaky pre-pubescent voice of yours.  Don’t worry, even though I have Bieber-Fever, you’ll always be my #1.

I want you to know that I have been celebrating your birthdays since 1998.  On more than one occasion, I sat at a table with my friend Caitlin (Frick), who was kind enough to buy ME (Frack-true BSB fans will get this) a cake for YOUR birthday.  It was usually blue and white.  Because you love blue.  And because you love the ocean.  Do you see where I’m going with this?

And I went to your concerts.  I swooned every time you hit a high note.  I lost it when you started dating.  My eyes always went to you in music videos, and I thought, “He’d be a good boyfriend.”

All through junior high (and embarrassingly enough, into high school) I wrote you into some stories.  Did you know that we were going to have a double wedding off the coast of Florida with Brian and my friend Caitie?  I figured you didn’t.

There were a few times that my mother walked into my bedroom when I was a teenager and saw me lying across my bed, my head hanging upside-down, listening to Millennium over and over and over again.  She asked me if I was okay.  Then walked away, shut the door, and I’m sure stood outside it for awhile to make sure I wasn’t sobbing over you.

When you appeared with your pants around your ankles on Rolling Stone, I bought five copies.

At the second BSB concert Caitie and I came to see you and Brian at, we got lost in the arena trying to find our way out.  It panned out, though, because we cut down a 12 foot poster of you and your band mates, rolled it up, and continued the search for the door.  “Hey,” we heard a lady say behind us.  “I’ll give you $20 for that.”

“Hell no,” I said.

“50,” she said, reaching for her purse.

“Absolutely not.  This is ours.”  Caitie and I stood with our hands on our hips, facing this woman and her daughter.


“No thank you,” we said, and walked away.

I gave up $100 for you, Nick Carter.

Actually…with all the posters, CDs, books, magazines, t-shirts, concerts, and McDonald’s BSB action figures…I probably spent close to $6,000.00 on you.

I’m okay with it.  You kept me in love and entertained for probably four years.  So thank you for that.  And then I saw you on House of Carter and realized how bad it had gotten.

While I’m not sure I would date you anymore, I still like when you sing.  So Happy Birthday to you, Nick.  And if you want to come visit Ohio, you’re more than welcome.

If AJ gets out of rehab, I’ll even buy a ticket to your tour with NKOTB…


Posted by on January 28, 2011 in Daily Happenings, When I Was Young


Tags: , ,

2 responses to “Happy Birthday, Nick Carter.

  1. Christopher

    January 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    The fact that you wrote this frightens me. Also, the fact that you have “Bieber Fever” upsets me a great deal.
    That is all.


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