Monthly Archives: March 2011

Raising My Youngins-Playing In the Dirt

Even though my ovaries are in a constant state of glow these days, I’m pretty thankful that I do NOT have children yet.  I mean, I see how much stuff costs…not to mention I’ve been looking at a $700 purse on eBay.    Don’t wig out on me, I’m not gonna buy it.

But I also get to learn from those around me who are having children.  I like the way my parents raised me, but I was never aware that I was being raised, so I didn’t really pay attention.  Now I look around and see parents (my friends and strangers) raising children.  Sometimes I think, “BRAVO!  Now that is great parenting!” Other times, it’s, “Note to self:  Lord have mercy, please don’t ever let me think to do this to my child.”

NOTE TO YOU:  Before you start defending your parenting techniques to me, DON’T.

So then I stumbled across this blog called Rules for My Unborn Son and I thought, “BRAVO!”  I’d like to do that!  Or at least discuss it so that people might change my mind.  Occasionally now, I will post about how I will raise my children.  And today, the post concerns DIRT.

I say let them get dirty.  Let them play in mounds of dirt.  H*ll, let them EAT dirt. It’s freaking fun, and you can do so much with it!  Draw in it, make mud out of it, throw it at each other.  Dirt’s a FREE easy toy, and kids look darn cute covered in it.  Who cares about the mess–they’re having fun.  I had plenty of fun in the dirt–digging to China for instance.  Also, there’s no better track for Matchbox cars than dirt, and nothing can cool you on a hot day like slapping some mud on your forehead.  Not to mention that sometimes, it tastes good.  My God, if dirt feeds anything, it’s the soul!

For the longest time, even before I did this research, I figured that dirt was healthy.  How is it now?  Everyone preaches about exposing their children to “natural” things and “organic” things.  Well how much more organic can you get than dirt?  Yeah, I know there’s stuff in there that’s not totally natural, but GET OVER IT.  There’s stuff in EVERYTHING that is not totally natural.  Let them eat dirt.

Some say kids who play in dirt are less prone to diabetes.  Others just insist that it’s good for ’em.

“So let your child be a child. Dirt is good. If your child isn’t coming in dirty every day, they’re not doing their job. They’re not building their immunological army. So it’s terribly important.”

Letting kids play in the dirt, Hill pointed out, is the first of five immune-system-building steps parents should take for their kids.

Next, “absolutely” wash using regular soap, not the antibacterial kind. “This is one of the (reasons) I suspect I’m not going to be getting a Valentine card from the sellers of antibacterial washes!” Ruebush remarked.

I totally agree.  🙂  I’m ahead of my time–or behind on it.  All I’m saying is that most of us today got here b/c our parents weren’t yanking us out of mud piles and dousing us in Anti-Bacterial stuff.  We got here and we’re strong because we lived in the world, and didn’t try to avoid it.

CHEERS!  You dirty little freaks.


Posted by on March 31, 2011 in Domesticity, Raising My Youngins


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Crap That Annoys Me

annoying wordpress formatting-i’m not fixing it.  you’ll be ok.


Kesha tiny parking spots               skinny jeans cats             forgetting my rose salve at home                people who talk about things they know no one cares about

politics                men who won’t dance                 peeling eyelids crap cars with good sound systems         faux hawks                Lady GaGa

cheap jewelry turning you green               people who preach against casual drinking          dieters who eat like crap

folks who think country people are idiots                 men who won’t grow up when my windshield wipers won’t touch the glass

winter in April                          getting older                        grocery shopping being thirsty and having to pee             dentists                       bad skin as an adult                        

nets around trampolines out-of-date laws                       broccoli stems                 steam burns               cooking bacon

mosquito bites                      shells in eggs                        paying for parking packing           MONEY jars that won’t open

expiration dates               running out of painkillers                      rubberneckers                 being hungry

having to blow in Nintendo games                       getting beat by a computer                 cold sweats pajamas at Wal-Mart

skanky 8-year-olds                  people who hog the sidewalk people who wear animal sweatshirts

texting “ok” not answering the phone and then calling right back                             people who talk on cell phones in public bathrooms

the squeaky cart at the grocery store

the price of gumball machines snot-nosed kids whose parents won’t just wipe their noses

when I miss plucking ONE eyebrow                   finding out I just overpaid


Posted by on March 30, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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Baseball Fever

Of all the sports, I think I like baseball the most.  I like that it begins when the world is just starting to warm up, and I like watching it live, under a blazing hot sun in plastic seats with a beer in my hand.  And I like watching all levels of it–from little league to the MLB.  It just feels right.

It feels American.

I’ve been told that there are only 9 minutes of action in a 9-inning game.  But those moments of action are some of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced.  It’s kind of like life–you can sit back and enjoy most of it.  There are some hits and some misses, and you deal.  There are the super exciting Grand Slam moments, when you fall in love or have a baby, or when you win some big award.  And then there are the pinches–the times that make you clench your jaw and get ready to swing because it’s all you can do to fight your way out.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t point out how sexy a man in a baseball uniform is…

Happy Baseball season!  GO TRIBE!

Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would’ve caught that ball.


Posted by on March 29, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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Touching a Real Life Mannequin

It happens like this:

I am three years old, stringy blonde hair, clothes probably stained from a slushy, a pretzel, ketchup–all the Sandusky Mall food court goodies. Round little cheeks and sticky fingers, untied shoestrings and a whine that could compete with a tornado warning siren.

My mother is in a store somewhere, and my father is manning his seat on a bench out in the middle of the concourse.  In an odd turn of events, I wait with him instead of going into the store with my mother.  Perhaps she is buying a birthday gift, or a Christmas gift.  Perhaps I am being obnoxious.  Which I can only assume is the case.

From here, I will not pretend to know the details that led to the touch.   Maybe my father gets tired of my sticky grubby hands looking for entertainment in tossing fountain pennies, the bench, the bags of things we bought.  Maybe I cry out of boredom.

And then I see it.  I am already pointing at the mannequin three benches down, her porcelain skin, her legs crossed, one hand nonchalantly caressing her own cheek.  The other hand is perched on the knee of her crossed legs.

“What’s a mannequin doing in the middle of the mall, Daddy?” I ask.  I am three, and I watch Today’s Special, a television show about a mannequin named Jeffrey that comes to life when the doors lock and the lights go out.

My father asks, “Where?”  When he sees her, he laughs.  “I don’t know.  Go see.”

I do the thing where I take a step–one single step–and look to my father for his read on the situation.  Is this dangerous?

“Go on.”

I walk right up to her, stand there, stare at her.  She is perfect.  Not one hair out of place, her clothes pinned perfectly around her figure.  There are no stains or holes–just perfection.  I think about all the possibilities this mannequin has if she is like Jeffrey, if she can wander the entire mall instead of being locked into one store.  My hand twitches to touch her, so I twirl the front of my shirt around my fingers.

I look at my father and shrug back to him.  I know he knows I am thinking of Jeffrey.  He knows my curiosity is peaked.  I’ve never touched a mannequin.

He sees my hand go out, pull back, and I look to him for approval.  “You can touch her,” he says.

I’m thrilled.  My whole life has been, “Don’t touch that.”  I reach out for the hand that sits on her knee, and I expect the cool, hard, smooth porcelain.  But it is not porcelain.

The skin moves.  It is warm.  There are bones in her hand.  Three bones that I press my fingertip over while her skin bunches into a wrinkle.  I stare at the hand, watch the way the skin moves when I push it, and then I look up.  She is looking at me.

I run.

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Posted by on March 28, 2011 in When I Was Young


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Giving a Manly Name

If I have sons (and Mike is very convinced that he is so manly that he will only make boys), I want them to have strong, manly names.  Heck, cowboy names, even.  Because I really think a name says a lot about a person.  When I yell for him to come in off the street, I want that name to be severe, to be yelled with a drawl.

Little boys with manly names make me think of boys who will turn out to be great men-boys with morals who will make those around him better people.  He’s the man that girls will swoon after, but he’ll be too polite to notice.  Until that one girl…

Perhaps I’m thinking too much about this.  But a name DOES affect who you turn into.  I’ve come to that conclusion since my last post on names.   So below is a list of names I will consider for my little cowboys. 



Tons more here!

Any other ideas?

Happy Friday!


Posted by on March 25, 2011 in Domesticity


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Walk Two Moons

“In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?”

When I was younger, I read this book—a lot.  It’s still on my shelf, and I go back to it when I need to.  From the first time I read it, the quote above struck a chord in me.  it began a whole new thought process for me.

I spent so much time worrying about things that really didn’t matter in the course of a lifetime, and I vowed to stop-to only worry about the things that did matter in the course of a lifetime.

So my advice to you today is just that–when things start getting hard and you find yourself worrying, just ask yourself, “In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?”

If it doesn’t matter, quit worrying!

Have a great day!

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Posted by on March 24, 2011 in When I Was Young


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Bucket List: 20 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

Seeing as I’m only 25 (26 in less than a month 😐 ), I’m sure that my Bucket List will change.  Heck, it has already from the time that I was younger.  At one point, skydiving was on there (which I have accomplished–the day before my 22nd birthday!)

But as of right now, this is where we stand:

1)  Have a family–Husband, 2 kids, a dog, and a big farmhouse (this is the #1 goal)

2)  Visit Australia

3)  Hike part of the Appalachian Trail (check out my friend Visha’s page!)

4)  Tornado chase for a storm season in Oklahoma and Kansas

5)  Publish my book (although this can only be done once everyone I know in Fremont is gone)

6)  Meet.  Bill.  Paxton.

7)  Take a boat ride (big boat, think Titanic) across the Atlantic

8)  Be taken on stage during a Bon Jovi concert to the song “Bed of Roses”

9)  Paint at least one painting I’m proud of (this will take some work, as I am horrible with painting)

10)  Have a building/structure/parking lot/something! named after me

11)  Build something, start to finish, with my own hands.

12)  Own a Slow Loris–effective immediately.

13)  Pick up the tab for a big group dinner–my group or someone else’s

14)  Buy a round for the entire bar

15)  Stand on a balcony and speak to a lover (you, Mike!) below

16)  Go on an adventure with a dog

17)  Teach Creative Writing at least one more time

18)  Learn to speak fluent Spanish

19)  Attend a Royal Event

20)  Learn to play the banjo

What’s your on your Bucket List?


Posted by on March 23, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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