I must take this time to apologize to all of you. Shame on me. Shame on me for tricking you all, but it felt SO good! It felt good to finally be a trickster (as I am always the one being tricked…into touching real mannequins and so forth). I created more confusion by taking it down and then putting it back up. Here’s why:
There are quite a few people apparently pulling for us to get hitched. So I didn’t want to give anyone a heart attack or send someone into a tizzy. Plus, I didn’t want to field all the phone calls just to break the news that no, it isn’t happening. Kind of like telling your kids you’re going to Disney World, then a week before it’s supposed to happen, you have to tell them that your electric bill was more than you expected, and your credit card and student loan payments are due…and no Mickey Mouse.
And truth be told, it felt good to finally just say it. To say, “Mike proposed to me!” I’ve thought it a thousand times–how I will coyly put my newly-ringed hand on the table in front of my parents and his parents until someone notices. How I might send the something in the mail and sign it, “The-Soon-To-Be-Mrs.-Baker.” And then to tell my friends! Oh the joy. Joy that will wait.
But there are reasons that it has not happened yet. VALID reasons. Reasons that even though I throw a hissy-fit when I hear them, they make sense to me.
Most of us only get to be engaged once. I do have friends who are engaged and living in different cities, engaged and living in different states, engaged and rarely get to see each other, and that works for them. It does not, however, work for Mike and me. It does not work because we have already been kept apart long enough. We do not want to be apart during that pivotal point in our relationship. In the two years that we’ve been in a relationship, we’ve LIVED in the same town for 5 months. Plus, the actual time we’ve spent together including weekends and vacations and that 5 months still totals less than a year.
We live in separate worlds, and it sucks.
On a good note, we spent a glorious three days together. I can’t wait till next weekend. I just want to be with him again. And someday I’ll get to break that news. Hopefully.