Before I started typing this, I had a margarita, a shot of coffee tequila, a tall beer, and a third of a bottle of wine to make myself numb. I then walked into my bedroom, found my coat of armor, buckled on a softball batting helmet, grabbed a beer, and hid behind the wall leading into my kitchen. And then, for good measure, I grabbed some rotten tomatoes to throw back at you all once you turn on me, and your fangs begin to show, and your skin starts to sparkle…
Wait. That’s a fate far scarier than any angry mob.
Ready…I’m gonna say it…oh my goodness—I’m going to spank my children.
It’s true. I’m going to. There is NO child above spanking. God gave us padding on our butts specifically for that purpose. And the truth is that there is no threat more frightening to a child than a spanking.
Tell them you’re “disappointed” and that “things are going to be different.” Tell them that they “shouldn’t have done that” or that “they’re grounded.” It’s not going to do as much as the fear of a spanking will. And let’s be honest, it’s NOT ABUSE. It’s NOT politically incorrect. What it is is discipline.
I’m not saying that spanking should be overused or abused. It should be reserved for when other methods of discipline don’t work. Say a kid lies to you about hanging out in a junkyard where you specifically told him not to go. He was forewarned. He comes home and says, “But I didn’t know I shouldn’t be there! And besides, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t get hurt.” And as he continues to talk back to you, he rolls his eyes. Lies, disrespect, and disobedience. Give the kid one smack on the butt.
And that’s the other thing. Spanking should never be more than one swift hit. And never with a paddle or anything besides an open palm. That way, you feel a little bit of that sting, too. So it hurts you both. Spanking shouldn’t be fun for anyone, but it does need to happen.
I think parents choose to spank out of fear, not out of anger. You spank your kids when they put themselves into danger, or when they’re in danger of becoming horrible adults, when you fear for your children’s lives. You do it to keep them in check. It makes them cautious about the right things, the things that could actually put them in danger. Kids don’t fear anything these days, which is why we have everyone running amuck. And since spanking has had a bad taboo placed on it over the last few decades, well I’m sorry, but we’ve raised a bunch of fearless hellions.
Let’s get things back on track. Don’t be afraid to spank your children. They aren’t going to die, and they aren’t going to be emotionally scarred. They’ll end up thanking you for it.
I remember all the times that I was spanked, and I deserved every last one of them. My brother feels the same way. My father does, too, about all the times he was spanked. It builds character.
Not to mention, it reminds you that the world is not all cake and meaningless phrases. It’s action, difficulty, and learning lessons.