***EDIT*** Ya’ll are missing the point of this! Women want men who ARE kind and decent, but have that badass factor about them! The example below is exaggerated for a purpose. WE WANT NICE GUYS WITH SOME BADASS FACTORS! That is precisely why it’s a factor, and not a state of being. CRIMENY. ***
So begins the Bon Bons and Martinis Series called “The Book of Love!” Some of these will address men, some women. I’m here to tackle the things that you all do that make me sick. 🙂 Or just try to make you understand some things that I think I’ve figured out. Or I’m just spouting off a bunch of horrible advice that will ruin your life if you take it.
Each post shall tackle a different situation, or an aspect of dating. Today’s chapter is:
The Badass Factor
Guys guys guys, you think we all want the nice guy. It’s. Not. True. Well, in some aspects. We want a nice guy once we’re IN a relationship. We want a badass to start with. Let’s use an example:
A girl is standing in among a group of guys. And let’s be honest–girls think that they have every ability in the world to manipulate you with batting eyelashes, sly smiles, by chewing on their bottom lip and looking up seductively. For the most part, this is true. That or you think we’re having a seizure.
But among this group of men, there is one guy who is consistently checking in with the girl to see if she might need a refill on her drink, or if the sun is in her eyes. Or he’s asking about that book she read or inquiring about her weekend plans. He leans into her to make sure he catches her every word, and he sympathizes with her and blah blah blah. All those things, you know, you think women want you to do.
On the other side of the group, there’s a guy in torn jeans who has ignored the girl as she chews her lip, who continually looks at his watch, and who is more interested in talking with the rest of the guys about hunting or fishing or how drunk he got the weekend before. And he’s got a scruffy face, and it’s obvious that he hasn’t combed his hair, but he standing straight and tall and looking around the bar like, “Go ahead. Try me.”
So which guy does the girl want 95.5% of the time? You can bet your ass it’s the second guy. But why? All you nice guys seem to be confused as to why you’re getting stashed away in the friend category before you can even ask to borrow a tampon from the girl. (Sorry, low blow.) I’ll tell you why.
You have no badass factor. You’re too easy. She already knows that she can walk all over you, come to you when she needs someone to tell her she’s pretty, to clean out her gutters, buy her dinner, and then pick her back up when some badass breaks her heart. And you know what? She’ll still want the badass!
Girls want the badass guy because–most simply–he’s a challenge. Every girl loves a challenge, especially when it comes to a boy. Think about the guy in the group who wouldn’t spend two seconds looking at the girl. Well, she automatically takes that challenge to catch his eye. And if she can hold it for more than a few seconds, or make him look twice, she’s onto the next one: to get him to talk to her.
The second reason to want a badass is because he’s confident. Women don’t want that guy who’s always bobble-heading around them, just waiting for that perfect moment to put his head on her shoulder and watch Dirty Dancing. No.
Finally, women see badassness as a chance to make herself stand out in his eyes. This one is a little tougher. Okay, so the girl gets the guy to look at her for a second. Then she catches him looking at her again. And in their first conversation, he tells her how very much he hates missing a Cleveland Indians baseball game on a Sunday afternoon. The girl and the badass start hanging out, and he challenges her, and she challenges him, but is secretly trying to win his affection.
And then it happens–there’s a one-day art exhibit on a Sunday afternoon in May, during a home game between the Cleveland Indians and the Detroit Tigers, and the Indians are on a 10-game winning streak. And the guy walks away from the television and takes her to the art exhibit.
It’s then that women know they are special to the badass. That he’s still a confident, challenging, cocky badass, but that he’ll deviate from his normal ways for her. And that is the most charming quality a man can have. A badass guy with a soft spot for a girl.
And that’s when women want you to start doing the nice things.