Daily Archives: April 20, 2011

The Book of Love (For Men): What Women Are…

To start off, here’s what folks said on my “social media” sites when I asked them what women are:

WhatisaSKYWALKA: @HootyLou Women are the most interesting and mysterious creatures on the planet, anything with the cognitive ability to feel like you do is pretty amazing

Danielle:  The reason the world doesn’t fall apart!

Katie:  The new men.

Toni:  The caregivers of the world.

Jarrad:  Vaginas, boobs, and humans….. is that sexist? Ok seriously, human race that can birth children, lack y chromosomes, have less testosterone but more estrogen than men…. you get the picture……. vaginas, boobs, and humans.

Tim:  My life’s work

Jackie:  A man’s backbone!!If ya know what I mean??????????

Chris:  nerds

Ashly:   Women are the caregivers, the taxi’s, the house keeper, the chef, the babysitters, the lovers, the calendars, the financial keepers. Or in my case… I have to be everything (to my child) and more.

Michael:  The reason Adam ate the apple in the first place haha

Jackie:  And when Eve told him to take a bite his reply was……..Yes dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahahahahahah

Tim:  But if too big a bite, its gonna taste like shit 🙂

Craig:  I’d halfta say, a piece of god’s work that he over achieved on.

Beki:  The final draft.


And what do I think?  Well, I only took this question because I stupidly said, “Well, women aren’t real life.”  To which, my witty friend said, “Then what are they?”

I’m trying to figure that out.  If you catch me on the right day, I’ll say, “Bitches be crazy.”  Other times, I think that women kinda rock–to which I immediately knock myself back into place by telling myself to get back in the kitchen and make a pie.  😉

I when I said that women aren’t real life, I meant that maybe that dealing with women defy all the rules that apply to normal everyday life.  Calm down, feminists–I don’t mean this to be a bad thing.  It’s hard to use everyday logic or reasoning when it comes to dealing with a woman.  So here are my reasons for saying that women aren’t real life, by way of explaining exactly what women are:

–  Women are rational and irrational, and you never know what you’re going to get.  It’s roulette, and you love that about us.
–  Women are surprises.  Sometimes they’ll do something that completely throws you off kilter or outta this world (get it?  real life?).
–  Women are easy laughers, easy criers, easy everythingers.  We wear our emotions on our sleeves.
–  Women are steel traps.  Women want you to “pry” whatever it is that they don’t want to talk about out of them.
–  Women are strong, emotionally, mentally, and physically.  Watch one have a baby.  You’ll see what I mean.
–  Women are a challenge, which makes it more fun for you to try and win us.  (maybe.)
–  Women mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, and so much more–simultaneously.
–  Women are hard to put your finger on, or hold under your thumb…

I almost feel like this list is getting to be feminist.  Like women are some magical creatures that we should appreciate for their sheer mystery.  But that’s just not true, damnit.  Women can be pains in the asses, just like men.  They can be stubborn and bitchy and do whatever it takes just to make you angry.  But they’ll also turn around and make you forget why you were mad in the first place.

My final answer is this:  Women aren’t real life–they are anomalies.  They may not stick to the norms and may confuse the hell out of you–but you can bet your ass that they’re there when you need them, and that you can rely on them.

Just don’t rely too heavily.  Then we run away.  😉  KIDDING.  Crimeny.

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Posted by on April 20, 2011 in The Book of Love


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