First of all, I am so glad that I am not on the dating scene anymore. It’s odd how much I hope I never have to go back to it. I’m just so happy where I am that I don’t particularly crave that notion to “snag” someone anymore.
But I read a blog post by my buddy Tim today, that kind of really made me wonder what I would just tell people up front to avoid all the games and so that there were no surprises when we got further into the relationship. I’m all for flirting, and for some games, but at this point in my life, I’m just happy to have a man who knows all of these things already. I love my Mike so much.
So here are the things that I would bare to the person I was trying to date. And my timing would probably be horrible. And if you know anything about me, they would all come out in the first conversation I ever had with said-man:
1) You’re not getting any. This is a pants-on party.
2) Oh, yes. I am looking for someone to marry. So don’t waste my time.
3) I like kids. You had better like kids.
4) I’m a dog person. Don’t bring that cat into my house.
5) Diamonds are always a good gift.
6) I can get a little jealous.
7) I will put cold feet/hands/noses on you to warm myself up. I will not ask first.
8) I expect you to talk to my parents.
9) Don’t yell at me when I get drunk. A glass of wine a night is VERY acceptable.
10) I will buy baby clothes even though I do not have a baby.
11) Sometimes, I will just tell it like it is.
12) If I walk away from you, I expect you to come after me.
13) I won’t expect you to enjoy jewelry if you don’t expect me to enjoy golf.
14) I fall asleep in the car.
15) I will suppress PMS for about the first year. Then I’m not responsible for what goes on.
16) Don’t touch me for at least an hour after I’ve eaten.
17) I will ask you for a puppy until you say we can have one.
18) Just because I lust after long hair doesn’t mean you have to have it.
19) You must believe in God.
20) I expect you to trust me, and for you to give me no reason to mistrust you.
Now that I have successfully ruined any chance of dating any of the men who read my blog, I will rely heavily on Mike and I to work out. 😉