I want to stereotype the states. All of them. Today, I’m starting with Louisiana based on a suggestion. DO NOT GET OFFENDED. I’M JUST SPOUTING CRAP.
The way this will work is that I will state the things that the state makes me think of off the top of my head without any research. And then maybe I’ll do a little research and see what I’m missing.
Off the Top of My Head
- New Orleans/Mardi Gras – Uh duh.
- Swamp People – The enthralling show on the History Channel on which people go out onto the swamp to catch gators. I love how they talk, I love how important it all is to them, and how entertaining it is.
- Garth Brooks singing “Callin’ Baton Rouge” because that’s just a damn good song.
- A boot. What? It’s shaped like one.
With a Little Research
- Louisiana is the only state in the union that does not have counties. Its political subdivisions are called parishes.
- Cajuns are descendants of the Acadians who were driven out of Canada in the 1700s because they wouldn’t pledge allegiance to the King of England.
- One of their laws? It is illegal to gargle in public places.
- Another one? One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise.
Now, I do not know anyone from Louisiana that I know of. If I do, I’m sorry. Or if you’re from Louisiana, I’m sorry. But I’m just trying to come up with some sort of conclusion about the typical Louisianian. I believe the typical Louisianian is:
- honest (see final point under research)
- enjoys crawfish and catching gators
- likes spicy food
- has at least one room in their house that is gold, purple and green
- enjoys baking babies into cakes
- has flashed at least 10 people in their lives
- sings “Callin’ Baton Rouge” daily
- is missing some teeth due to the law about gargling
- gets really pissed off at The Waterboy
- drinks tea and beer on the porch
- and can catch a snake without flinching
Again, I’m just talking shit. I’ll do it to every state, including my own. So just laugh about it and get over it.