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Monthly Archives: October 2011

I Have a Buying Problem

It’s true.  I’m a saver–uber thrifty even.  I don’t have cable.  I don’t turn on the heat in my house.  I’ve been pouring straight water on my cereal (which I need to buy more of because I’m down to three or four corn flakes).

But my gas bill this month was only $22.  And my electric?  $14.  Which is how I am justifying my following actions:

I bought this purse for an obnoxious amount of money:

Then, I reserved a hotel room in Cincinnati for 11.11.11.

And I got this dress to wear to the event.

I need to stop.  But I justify it because I’m a cheap ass all the time.  Ugh.

In other news, I’m so happy with all of it!

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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Halloween Sucks Because We’re Desensitized

Halloween used to be my second favorite holiday…but recently, it’s fallen a bit.  Halloween isn’t as fun when you aren’t surrounded by kids.  That’s why I’m excited to go to Mike’s brother and sister-in-law’s house this weekend to see all their cute little kids in their costumes.  It’s such an exciting time!

Halloween has fallen a bit simply because nothing is shocking anymore.  It used to be about the fear.  I loved the fear.  I loved when watching Michael Jackson’s Thriller would get my heart racing and I’d be afraid to look behind the shower curtain for weeks.  And now when I watch it, I think, “That’s not that scary.”

I know that part of this is because I’ve grown up and a lot of myths have been debunked.  Part of me likes that because as I become more aware of my surroundings, I don’t work myself into a tizzy. But by becoming more aware of my surroundings, I’ve also noticed how terrible reality can be sometimes.

The other reason that I don’t think Thriller is scary anymore is probably because the world has gotten scarier than movies, videos, or TV shows.  The stuff that happens in real life is much scarier than Halloween.  I think that’s sad.  But have a Happy Halloween.  Let the kids enjoy it before they realize how scary the world is.  Nothin’ wrong with a little pranking, either.  🙂

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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Gettin’ Crafty Tonight!

I’m not crafty. This is not a secret.  But I saw something on the interwebs that I am dying to try.

I wanna make this sweater.

I don’t just wanna make it–I’ve even been dreaming about it.  I am so excited!  So today, I went and bought a cardigan at the Salvation Army (in case I royally screw up, at least I only lose $1.99).  I wish it was this pretty blue so I could use yellow, but it’s a very pretty purple.

So right after work, I’m going to Pat Catan’s to get the supplies, and tonight, I will pack, watch television, drink wine, and make this sweater.  YAY!

(Sorry for the late post–I was buying ugly Christmas sweaters on my lunch break for our company Christmas card.)

Cheers!

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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I’m a Sucker for a Man in…

Aside from the physical features of a man that I find to be the sexiest, there are certain types of clothing that men wear that will also turn my head.  And when I say turn my head, I mean make me reach out and grab a wall for stability.  So today, I salute the White T-shirt.

Paired with jeans, khakis, work pants, whatever.  There’s something about a man in a white t-shirt, and I feel like I’m repeating myself (oh yeah, here it is), but DAMN.  It’s clean, it’s a little clingy in all the right places, and it usually picks up a man’s scent pretty quickly, so if you steal it to sleep in, you’re all set.

I think it’s something about how white t-shirts are easily dirtied, too…so if he’s been working, it’s pretty evident.  (Re-phrased for Jarvis, even though I know this will still offend him.)

They’re simple and classic and wonderful.

I know it’s not much of a post today, but if you can look at Paul Newman in a white t-shirt and tell me your day isn’t a little better, then I’ll make sure to compensate you tomorrow in a much better, more exciting blog post.

 
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Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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The Requiem Project: Reviving the Emery Theatre

So there’s this project that I’m involved with.  It’s a pretty cool thing, and I think you all should know about it.

It’s called The Requiem Project, and it’s all about reviving the Emery Theatre in Over-the-Rhine Cincinnati and making it a place for the arts.

A few months back, my friend Elyse from high school contacted me about the opportunity to help write and assemble artist statements from all of the partners involved with reviving The Emery.  My role?  Writer and Collector of Stories.  I had the pleasure of communicating with most of the partners involved and hearing about their art, and how they feel about The Emery.  Each and every statement is moving, and I am excited to see them come together.

It’s an incredible endeavor that my new-found friends Tara Lindsey Gordon and Tina Manchise have begun.  They have big dreams and lots of ambition, and they have assembled a dream team of artists.

On 11.11.11, I will be attending The Requiem Project event, all dolled up, and ready to bring the arts back to life in Cincinnati’s most acoustically-sound theatre–The Emery.  I’m really excited about this.  Mike and I just reserved our hotel room and we’re looking forward to exploring Cincinnati and to meeting all of the wonderful people that I’ve been working with over the phone.

Check it out, spread the word, and help out if you can.  This is going to be big.

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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Roseanne Roadtrip Recap

It finally happened.  I went and saw the house that the Conner’s lived in on the Roseanne sitcom!  Here the rundown:

Friday, I drove to Ashland and picked up Kay.  Hours driven:  1.  We left Ashland around 6:30pm, and made it to Columbus to visit my good friend Jena and to pick up some ugly Christmas sweaters.  Hours driven:  2

We made it to New Palestine, IN to our friend Barbs’ house around 10:30pm.  Hours driven:  4.  We watched a little Roseanne on TV and went to bed.

Saturday morning, we took off around 10:30am to Evansville, IN.  It was like everything in the world didn’t want us to go there.  We got caught in a traffic jam, we got caught behind a damn tractor that was going 10mph, and we were all riled up.  We made it to Evansville, IN around 2:00pm.  Hours driven:  7.5.

This is where it gets ABSURD.  Evansville is much bigger than we ever anticipated.  We found Roseanne’s house!  We parked the car and got out and took creepy stalker pictures.

IT WAS GLORIOUS!  I was clearly excited.  I didn’t knock, though.  I chickened out.

Before the neighbors started calling the cops, we made our way out of that neighborhood and onto the Lobo Lounge.  If you don’t know, the Lobo Lounge is where Dan and Roseanne drank beers quite often.

So we made our way there…in the middle of a meth neighborhood, where I think Kay and I were both fearing for our lives.  We found it, though!  It’s called Talk of the Town Pizza.

But the truth is that we were kinda scared of the neighborhood.  It was 2:30pm and the place didn’t open until 4pm, so we didn’t get a chance to go inside.  Hours driven:  8.

At this point, we were kind of at loss for words.  We had been in the town all of a half hour and we had nothing else to see.  So we got in our car and drove 3.5 hours back to Barbs’ house.  Hours driven:  11.5.

On the way back, we tried to stop at a bar here or there, but none of them took cards, and we couldn’t find a damn ATM.  When we got back to Barbs’ house, we had some pork roast, drank some drinks, and went to the bar down the road.

In the morning, we got in the car and drove 3.5 hours back to Ashland where I dropped off Kay.  Hours driven:  15.

And then I drove an hour back to my house.  Hours driven:  16.  

In other words, we drove a lot, and saw very little.  BUT IT WAS SO FUN!  🙂  I loved every minute of it.  Thanks Barbs and Rob for letting us stay!

 

 
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Posted by on October 24, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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ROSEANNE ROADTRIP BEGINS TODAY!

OMG, the Roseanne Roadtrip starts as SOON as I leave work!  I’m beyond excited.  Seriously.  I might lose my mind.  I’m driving to Ashland to pick up Kay, then stopping in Columbus to snag a Christmas sweater from my good buddy Jena, then off to Indy where we’ll see Barbs’ new house!

In the morning on Saturday, we’re taking off to Evansville, Indiana so that we can see this house:

The Sitcom Promised Land

And we’ll visit the Lobo Lounge (which is now a pizza place) and then jump into Kentucky and Illinois–just for the hell of it.

I’M SO EXCITED.  Off to buy road trip goodies on my lunch break!

 
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Posted by on October 21, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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Sexy Occupations…for Women?

My friend Chris has brought it to my attention that there “are no sexy female occupations.”  I thought about sexy male occupations:  carpenters, musicians, landscapers, masons, electricians, mechanics.  Does this sound familiar?  It should.  So what characteristics of these jobs make them so sexy?  Here ya go:

  1. Hard work:  Who doesn’t love to see a man at work?  Getting stuff done?
  2. Flexing:  These jobs allow a man to use his muscles.  And it allows me to watch.
  3. Sweating:  I love a man shining with sweat.  Go ahead, take your shirt off.
  4. Harmony between man and his work:  It’s something about how a man can manipulate one thing into another, how he can physically work on something to make it work again.  It’s like they understand the materials they’re working with.
  5. The final product:  Whether it’s a song or a house, a brick wall or a beautifully landscaped yard, something wonderful has been accomplished.  And as beautiful as the process was with all those flexing muscles and sweat, the final product is amazing.
So there’s gotta be an equivalent for women’s occupations, right?  After talking with a few men, (and explaining to them that we were not going to include strippers in this list, although it is a damn sexy occupation), this is the list of characteristics that would make a female occupation sexy according to three men that I interviewed.
  1. Taking care of someone/something:  What’s sexier than showing you care about someone or something?
  2. A flattering “uniform”:  You knew it was going here.
  3. Ambition:  Men like a woman who is going to work for what she wants.
  4. Brains:  It’s not just about the boobs!  They want to have intelligent conversations sometimes, too. (I’m starting to feel very shallow with my reasons for jobs being sexy.)
  5. Talent:  It’s sexy to see a woman who is good at what she does.
So it comes down to this.  Here is the list of sexy female occupations:
  1. Bartenders:  They serve you beer!  And they’re usually dressed kinda sexy.
  2. Athletes (particularly volleyball & soccer):  Driven, ambitious, and talented.
  3. Masseuses:  I almost didn’t let this one in, except that their job is about taking care.
  4. Nurses:  I think a lot of this is the male fantasy of a dirty nurse.  But they do take care of you.
  5. Librarians/Teachers:  Same with this one.  Dirty dirty boys.
  6. Oral Hygienists:  I can’t explain this one.
  7. Mechanic:  Apparently women with tools turns men on as much as men with tools turns women on.
  8. Professionals:  A lady in a business suit with an iPad and an agenda gives off that sexy vibe.
  9. Housewives:  Taking care of house, husband, and children–she does it all.  And if it’s the 1950’s, she still dresses like June Cleaver, which I think we can all agree is super sexy.
Happy Thursday!
 
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Posted by on October 20, 2011 in Domesticity, The Book of Love

 

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Guilt-Free 3: Handyman Edition

There’s something sexy about a handyman–a guy who can fix everything, even though he may not have done it before.  He can figure it out.  A guy who can build things, a guy who knows carpentry or landscaping or mechanics or anything.  A small town guy.

So today, I salute the handymen of the world with a Guilt-Free 3.  Some of these men are characters in shows and they, as real life people, may not be the same, but I’m going for the character here, so LAY OFF.

Here are the following men I’ll be calling if anything ever breaks in my house:

1)  Eddie Latekka (Geoff Stults) – October Road:

2)  Joel Graham (Sam Jaeger) – Parenthood:

3)  Carter Oosterhouse – carpenter:

Honorable Mention:

Ty Pennington

Rhett (Chris Pine) in Small Town Saturday Night

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Daily Happenings, The Book of Love

 

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Catching Bees

Meghan and I spent a lot of time catching bugs, for whatever reason.  There was a certain time of year that the ladybugs covered the north side of the house.  We spent hours seeing how many we could fit into discarded Slim Jim jars from my grandpa’s carry-out.  I believe we probably had two hundred in one jar.  I still remember the smell of smashed ladybugs in the grooves of the lid and the sound of their wings cracking under the pressure as they tried to escape with each new capture.

A lot of the bug catching happened in and around the barn.  Spiders lurked in every slat and the woodpile was full of creepy crawlies.  When Grandma and Grandpa opened the cellar for cleaning, Meghan and I lined up mason jars and Slim Jim jars full of our bugs along the shelves and pretended to run a bug museum.  At the end of the day, we unscrewed the lids and watched them escape into the night.

I remember one day I was the only kid at Grandma and Grandpa’s, and there were hundreds of bees buzzing around the mud puddle.  It was hot, and the bees were moving lazily from one patch of mud to the next.  I found one of our Slim Jim jars with holes poked in the red plastic lid and perched on the small hill above the puddle.

I watched the bees rise and fall to the mud and crept up slowly.  I had gotten my first bee sting that summer after running through the fallen petals of the catalpa tree in the side yard, and I didn’t want to get another.  With the lid in one hand and the upside-down jar in the other, I slowly lowered it over one of the bees.  It immediately flew upwards toward the bottom of the clear jar, trying to escape to the sky.

I slowly slid the lid under the jar and retreated slowly.  I did this all afternoon, and eventually I had 29 bees in the same jar, and no stings.  And no matter how many times I flipped the jar upside-down or horizontal, the bees always flew up.

It occurs to me that whenever we try to escape something, we, like the bees, always go up.  It’s as though altitude makes us more untouchable, less vulnerable.  People take off on planes to vacation spots every day.  Bees go up.  When we’re running short of air in the pool, we go up.  When kids are afraid of something on the ground, they raise their hands to their parents and say, “Up!”  Goats climb things all the time just to be up.

Funny how humans, who are land animals, take such comfort in being “up.”

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2011 in When I Was Young

 

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