Moments Men are Allowed Expression of Total Vulnerability

07 Oct

I know.  Half of you are up in arms with my title already.  Who am I decide this, right?  Well it’s my blog, so I’M DECIDING TODAY!

You all know how big I am on gender roles.  I think it’s way more okay for women to cry on a regular basis than it is for men.  We are, after all, the emotional sex.  (YEAH, I said it.)  But I’m not disagreeing that women can be stronger than hell.  I mean, physically (lifting cars off of children) and emotionally (holding a family together in hard times, taking the brunt of the work, rarely getting thanked for it), and often mentally (8 soccer practices to remember and a career to balance with a home life and raising babies and all of that).  Women have a lot going on!

And so do men, I’m sure.  But men (according to me on my perch over here) have less of a right to be emotional.  And I think they just are less emotional in general.  I mean, seriously–guys don’t watch The Notebook and think, “Gosh, if I could only have a girl like Allie.”  Nope.  They’re thinking, “Damn, I wanna bang a chick walking up the stairs like Noah did.”

I think we can all agree that our brains/genetic make-up/hearts are different.

I know it makes me a bitch, but when men get over-emotional for no reason, I kind of secretly (not so secretly
anymore) deduct man points from them.  It’s like, “You’re a man, dude.  Hold it together.”  I like Marlboro Men, Old Spice Men, Men like Achilles in Troy.

But there are instances when men should be allowed to express complete vulnerability, emotion, sadness, whatever.  They’re allowed to break down.  So when is this acceptable?

  1. When they’re alone.  Always.
But in front of others?
  1. When they’re at a funeral.  Death is always worth crying for.
  2. When they propose (this is one of the most pivotal points in a man’s life.  He’s bound to shed a tear or be nervous).
  3. When they get married.
  4. When their children are born.
  5. When their wives or children are suffering.
  6. When they feel inadequate.
  7. When they’re in immense pain.
Well, that’s 8.  And the proposal and marriage (should) only happen once in a lifetime.  So that leaves 5 situations that could happen more than once.  If one of these situations is not happening, men should be acting like men:  crawling out from under trucks they just fixed, lugging timber across the yard to heat the house, holding doors open for women, carrying the heavier box, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Happy Friday!

Posted by on October 7, 2011 in Domesticity


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Moments Men are Allowed Expression of Total Vulnerability

  1. Danielle Walker

    October 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    Well Said Erica, well said. I agree completely. I’ll never be one that is all “let me lift this heavy box all on my own”. I have a strong man to do that for me. 🙂 It’s good to hear I’m not the only one that feels this way!!

    • erica42285

      October 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

      Thanks, Danielle! I ❤ Gender Roles. I should make t-shirts!

  2. Jessica Fowler

    October 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    I love your column

    • erica42285

      October 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm

      Ha ha! Thanks, Fowler! I miss you tons.

  3. Jerry Pope

    October 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Maybe for the next blog you can write about why you think this way. I see many more straight-lipped people throughout the day than those with smiles or frowns. Having no emotional reaction is tantamount to psychosis. Bottling up emotions is extremely unhealthy. This hasn’t always been common knowledge and is still not considered by many: those same ones who have inexplicable problems with their back, hips, neck, etc. So be careful what you wish for.

  4. erica42285

    October 7, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Hi Jerry!

    You want me to address why I think this way. I suppose I could just do that in a comment if it’s alright with ya.

    I don’t expect men to not show any emotion. I think they ought to be joyous whenever they’re joyous. I just think they need to control their breakdowns. Men are traditionally the stronger and more sound-minded in emotional situations. They’re logical, and because of this tend to react more rationally in emotional situations.

    Women, on the other hand, are more apt to lose it. (Sorry, feminists.) So when we lose it, it’s nice to have that strong, steady place to fall back on (our men). This is just a personal opinion. Some women love sensitive men. I think all men can be sensitive, but if they’re blubbering more than me, we have a problem.

    The emotional and the logical are supposed to balance each other out, I think. So I guess if you have a super tough woman, a more sensitive guy would work.

    It’s all situational, and all relative. I just don’t find sensitive guys that attractive.

    Hope this helps!



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