If you can’t PARALLEL PARK, get off the road.

13 Oct

Okay, I have to say it–those farking cars that parallel park for you are going to RUIN THE HUMAN RACE.  Seriously?  Have we really lost the ability to parallel park ourselves?  Can we do nothing on our own anymore?  It’s not that farking hard!

And if you have your license and you’ve passed your maneuverability test, well damnit, you ought to be able to parallel park.

I am all for technology, people.  I work in it, I use it, I love it.  But at what point do we become helpless bags of skin that can’t even breathe without a machine?  But parking is something different.  Driving a car is a religious experience–one that shouldn’t be messed with.

Driving is the merging of man and machine, of power and control and force.  When I turned 16, nothing made me smile more than getting behind the wheel of my 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera and motoring down the road.  I controlled how fast I went, when I stopped, where I went.  I parked my car.  It was my machine to control.  And now we’re letting our cars control us.

Unacceptable.  If you can’t parallel park, get the hell off of the road.  If you can’t control a vehicle, I don’t want you behind the wheel.


Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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2 responses to “If you can’t PARALLEL PARK, get off the road.

  1. Erin Seabolt Bond

    October 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    You crack me up.

    A couple thoughts:

    1. I hate parallel parking. I can do it–not well, mind you–but if I could afford a car that could do it for me, I’d gladly hand over that particular duty to the machine.

    2. People can’t drive, much less park. Simple fact of the matter. (Though did you know something like 80% of drivers think they’re better than average drivers?) As someone who has had her car hit on multiple occasions (one leaving me permanently injured), I’m all for technology that might supplement our “skills” behind the wheel. 🙂

  2. Jerry Pope

    October 14, 2011 at 5:58 am

    I didn’t believe this was for real. I had to look it up. And now, I still struggle to believe it. Parallel parking is tough because you have to think. I can imagine those in the automotive industry brainstorming new ways to market their cars to people who don’t like to think. It’s a sign of the times.


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