Monthly Archives: November 2011

Why I Fail at Being My Definition of a Woman

Here’s where you all get to attack me, since I attack many of the things that ya’ll do.  So I’m going to attack myself for a change.

I continuously talk about what I think men should be:  strong, independent, lumberjackish, able to grow facial hair, broad-shouldered, rough-handed, handy around the house, etc.  Maybe it’s not so much what I think men should be, but rather I describe the type of men that I am attracted to.

Many of my rants spawn from the fact that I see gender roles disappearing, and I still stand by the by the fact that I think this world needs gender roles to continue on with any sort of organization.

The point of this post, though, is that while I do fall into my ideal of female thought, I do not act as though I think a woman should act.  Let me explain.  I think men should be all of those above characteristics…  I also think women should possess certain characteristics and skills.  And here’s the big moment:  MANY OF WHICH I DO NOT.

I want to be this...only blonde.

That’s right, I’m a hypocrite.  Here is why I fail at being my definition of a woman:

  • I do not cook.  (I don’t rightly see the need to cook as I live alone…and I am holding out to learn it until I get married.)
  • I’m not really that crafty.  (Yeah, you saw my sweater. And I can crochet single stitches. But that’s about the extent of it.)
  • I only own one apron…and I’ve worn it once.
  • I do not clean my house in a cute dress and make-up.  (I wish I did…I might once I actually live with Mike.)
  • I cuss like a sailor.
  • I drink like one, too.  And not martinis.  I like beer.  I think I redeem myself on this one, though, with the mass amounts of wine I drink.
  • I do not get excited about kitchen appliances (except refrigerators).

Maybe I’m not the woman I want to be yet, because I don’t feel like a full-fledged woman.  I feel like a college kid, still.  I live in an apartment, alone, so there’s no reason to cook.  And no reason to get all gussied up to spend my evenings alone.

I honestly think I will feel like a woman when I have a home of my own (then I will really get excited about kitchen appliances) and when I can cook for someone.  I will especially feel like a woman when I have children.  I’m in a weird sort of limbo right now.  I guess we’ll see how this turns out.


Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Domesticity


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Why the Hell Am I Crying…When I See Santa?

The other day, I was walking through the Sandusky Mall with my mom, dad, and Mike, and Santa Claus waved at me.  Immediately, I got all misty-eyed and I can’t figure out why.

It’s not because I am afraid of him.  I’ve never been afraid of him.  I love Santa.  The more I thought about it, the more I believe it is because he ignites in me a Christmas spirit that only children can feel, and excitement that has been sucked out of us adults.  I cried because I’m sad that I am no longer allowed to lose myself in Christmas magic.

Santa waved at me, and my heart started racing and my eyes got misty and I wanted more than anything to go back to the times when I believed in Santa.  Christmas IS exciting.  Christmas SHOULD make it hard for you to sleep on Christmas Eve.  There really is still a magic about Christmas.  I hope that this year, we all let ourselves realize that.

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Posted by on November 29, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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What Happened to HERITAGE?!

So I’m back at it again.  Hyphenating in all its stupidity.

I found this article about how many children these days have to deal with hyphenated names…and even combining a mother and father’s last name to a whole brand new name.  WTF!

See what could happen?

No no no.  This is bullshit.  I’ll give you hyphenating over combining, but seriously.  Here’s what I’m thinking:  At one point, man (and I mean mankind/womankind/shut-the-hell-up-kind) decided to simplify things, to make families one, to give them the same last name.  That is why women take their husbands’ last names.  That is why children are given the same last name.

Yes, I realize that at one point, men were considered to be the superior sex.  The way I see it, men are superior at some things and women are superior at some things.  But in history, men were just considered to be superior, so they got the rights to the last name.  Big farkin’ deal.

My problem with hyphenating and combining stems from something much deeper than gender/sex arguments.  We’re losing heritage!  How the hell are those ancestry seekers going to trace their heritage if everyone goes all willy-nilly and invents and hyphenates names?  Why can’t we just follow tradition in all its simplicity and just take our husbands’ names?  I just don’t get it.  Seriously.  It’s complicating things like you wouldn’t believe.

That is all.


Posted by on November 28, 2011 in Domesticity


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Oh Christmas Tree!





So she’s up! Not quite finished. We have a few more things to get and I’ll post more Monday.

For those of you who noticed, that is a cardinal.


Posted by on November 26, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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An Uncrazy Black Friday

So it’s 9:25am on Black Friday.  I’m sitting with my family in the living room watching Storage Wars while Mom paints her nails and while my brother picks at leftover dessert for breakfast.

Mike is getting ready in the back, thinking about where we want to go:  Cleveland, Toledo, or Sandusky.

We’ll go out today to shop, but mostly to get our first taste of the Christmas spirit (minus my consistent listening of Justin Bieber’s Under the Mistletoe).  We just like to see the people, to drink coffee in the food court, and to walk under the gawdy Christmas decorations hanging from the ceiling.

While I’m a bigger fan of Cyber Monday (and cyber shopping in general), I still think Black Friday is an entertaining phenomenon.  It’s a chance to see people at their best, and at their worst.

So out we go into the world.  Happy Black Friday everyone!


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Posted by on November 25, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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No Drunksgiving For Me Tonight

I don’t know what happened…  I used to get so excited about Drunksgiving.  But now it just seems silly.

This is the first year since I turned 21 that I will not be going to The Depot the night before Thanksgiving and getting hammered with all of the people I went to high school with. I have my reasons:

  1. I hardly knew anyone last year.  They were all so much younger than me.  I didn’t even have that much fun.  Too many young kids.
  2. At this point in my life, I would rather get a ($3) bottle of wine and drink at home (and not have to tip anyone).
  3. Getting drunk isn’t what it used to be.  It’s kind of a pain.
  4. I want to not be so sick that I can’t have wine with my Thanksgiving dinner.

So I’m handing in my Cool Kid card and picking up my Lame Adult card.  Instead, I’ll be helpin’ my Ma get ready for Thanksgiving.

With that, I will not be posting tomorrow or Friday, so have yourselves an AMAZING Thanksgiving!


Posted by on November 23, 2011 in Daily Happenings


Busy Busy Busy BEA

It’s not that I don’t love you all…but I am INSANELY BUSY.

So for today, all you get is this:

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Posted by on November 22, 2011 in Daily Happenings


Side Chops: A Discussion on Men’s Facial Hair

If you’ll remember, I find a man’s ability to grow a beard one of his most attractive characteristics.

This weekend, because there was no Steelers football game, Mike let me watch David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding on TLC.  It was a Texas wedding for these two folks:

While we were watching it, I said, “Damn I love his side chops.”  Mike looked at me like I was crazy.  I continued to stare at the side chops.

I don’t know what I like about them.  Obviously, side chops can go horribly awry.  Take this guy, for example:

This is bad news, no doubt.  So what is it that I love about side chops?  Maybe it’s because they’re thicker and more masculine than sideburns.  Maybe it’s because they draw attention.  Maybe because they’re an open (and quite cocky) statement men can make.  I imagine side chops saying, “Yeah, I’m thick, I’m badass, and I’m here.  Deal with it.”

My ex-boyfriend’s little brother had immense side chops.  It made him look so much more grown up than a fresh, clean-shaven face.

I’ll take any facial hair over no facial hair, so long as it is not a solo mustache.  That just freaks me out.

What do you think about men’s facial hair?  More specifically, SIDE CHOPS!


Posted by on November 21, 2011 in Domesticity


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I Think It’s Time to Turn on the Heat

It’s true.  Last night, my apartment was 57 degrees.  I try really hard to not turn on the heat.  In fact, I’ve been carrying a space heater around with me for the past few weeks.

If only I'd had some other penguins to cuddle with.

After drinking a half a bottle of wine (alcohol warms the body, eh?) and grabbing a beer at the bar with some of the folks I work with, I came home, kept my coat on, and had another glass of wine while I packed my clothes and stuff up for this weekend in PA.

And even with my space heater running NEXT TO my bed, I slept in a pair of yoga pants AND a pair of sweat pants, two pairs of wool socks, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and with two quilts over me.

I will say that I slept damn well, but that was an awful lot of prepping for bedtime.  I think I might have to buckle and turn on the heat.  I’d like to wait until after Thanksgiving.  If I can just make it till Thanksgiving…

Happy Friday, Ya’ll!


Posted by on November 18, 2011 in Daily Happenings


Oh good things are happening today!

I saw a cardinal as soon as I walked out of my front door.

Justin Bieber was on the Elvis Duran Show this morning.

It’s cold enough to snow!

The CEO liked the poem I wrote for our company Christmas card.

I bought Mike a Christmas present.

I’m doing mad work and getting stuff done.

Thanksgiving is next week.

And a phone call is hanging in the balances.

And I want this outfit:



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Posted by on November 17, 2011 in Daily Happenings