Time Out: Marshmallows Made Cool…by HIPSTERS?!

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…another article on gourmet marshmallows… This is not helping my bad mood tonight!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Marshmallows are the new “hip” thing?  Marshmallows.  Really.

ATTENTION HIPSTERS:  Don’t ruin marshmallows!!!!!

Do you remember when I told you that I can determine the future?  You know, just by my thoughts alone?  Like when I had a hard time finding maxi dresses, and all the sudden they were popular.  Or when I thought, “I’ll go nautical this summer” and all the sudden Target and every other blessed store had nautical-themed clothes all summer?

Well last night, I was jonesin’ for a marshmallow (not the vanilla or gingerbread ones I had left over from Christmas) but an honest-to-God Kraft Jet-Puffed marshmallow.  Mike was in town and kind enough to go buy me a bag of the jumbo ones.  And then I get to work and read this bullshit.  Marshmallows are trendy.

Fucking hipsters...made me cuss.

Well now…marshmallows are trendy.  TRENDY!  Marshmallows can’t be trendy!  I mean, I’ll eat the strawberry ones, or the vanilla and gingerbread ones that are of the Kraft Jet-Puffed kind…but hipsters are ruining this.

Now marshmallows, the simple food that comes in a bag and makes the best part of s’mores, are available in trendy bakeries and cafes across the nation.

• Cinnamon marshmallows
• Strawberry basil marshmallows
• Chocolate rosemary marshmallows
• Cherry chocolate marshmallows
• Fruit and honey marshmallows
• Luscious Lemony Meringue or Caramel Swirl marshmallows

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I’m staying on the marshmallow bandwagon, but I’m going to stick with the original.  Eff you, hipsters.

The real thing.