Why are men looked down upon for looking at women? Why do they feel ashamed if they’re caught? I know that if I catch a man looking at me, I’m not offended–I’m rather flattered. Hell, I’m flattered when I catch Mike looking at me.
So why is there such a stigma? Even if the guys are older (as in the case of this article), just because they’re looking at a woman doesn’t mean that they’re going to sexually assault her. They’re just giving recognition to a woman that they find attractive. Big deal? Absolutely–in the very best way.
Part of the reason men are questioning whether or not they’re pervs for looking at women? I agree with “Y”: “The problem for us as men is that we’re in the wrong culture, and we’re men at the wrong time. We’re not a culture that empowers men with casual sensuality.”
And quite possibly my favorite paragraph: “I’m about to leave when Z tosses me a last thought. ‘Some women assume the male gaze is sinful and hurtful and evil, that men can never look at women in a different way. But that’s not what the gaze is about. Because a sophisticated man would not hesitate to gaze, and then he might be filled with regret and loss, and therefore gain self-knowledge.'”
Look on, men. Look on.