Monthly Archives: November 2012

Rover and the other Assholes


I love WMMS, a Cleveland rock station.  I love the music, and I love the Alan Cox Show in the afternoons.  I love Chadley and Erika Lauren and Alan Cox.

But WMMS needs to rethink its morning show–Rover’s Morning Glory.  I can’t EFFING stand them.  Here’s why:

They’re morons.  I’m sure of it, because I can listen to them have a conversation on air, and then I can listen to them fight about how none of them just understood what the others were saying.  If Rover says he likes the color red, then one of the other morons will undoubtedly say, “You don’t like red. You said you didn’t like red!”  And it will turn into a two hour fight that’s almost as fun as watching two one-legged, one-armed squirrels fight for an acorn.  It’s just pathetic and sad.

Second reason:  Duji.  This stupid bitch puts on a Cleveland accent like no one I’ve ever heard before.  Plus, she’s also a moron.  And I if I have to hear about her stupid happy trail and lower back hair one more time, I might literally go down to the station to punch her.  She’s whiny, never has anything intelligent to say, and is probably a pedophile.  It’s no wonder she’s alone.

Apparently Duji and Rover dated in the past, and I have to say that I think they deserve each other.  I feel bad for Duji’s kid.  No kid should have to grow up like that with parents/step-parents who probably end up licking each other’s stubble every night.

But what started this rant?  LOTS–it’s been building.  But this is what tipped me over the edge.

We’ve all heard about the incredible kindness of a NYC police officer who bought a homeless man some boots.

So on Rover this morning, they begin discussing this, and Rover immediately goes into a rant about how it’s staged.  Really?  My big problem is this:  Can we not just appreciate an act of kindness without wondering where it came from?  Without believing there are ulterior motives?  Without judging the one who’s doing the nice thing for someone else?  

Apparently not.  Because Rover wanted to know if this cop had anything better to do than to buy this guy shoes.  No, asshole.  He’s doing the best thing he could have possibly done at that moment in time.

Rover wanted to know why the homeless man is in front of the shoe store already.  He said, “It’s not like the cop had to go out of his way to get these shoes.  He didn’t really do anything.”  Oh really, Rover?  So what if the man was sitting in front of a shoe store.  The cop still went into the store and spent $75 on shoes for him.  And how often have you gone out of your way to buy a homeless person something?

Awful convenient, you say, huh Rover?  You think that the man was sitting there waiting for someone to buy him shoes?  Come on!  Quit being a dick.  And even if he was, he wasn’t asking for it!  Maybe he was hoping, PRAYING for the kindness of a stranger like this cop.

And Rover says, “It has to be staged.  I mean, come on–to have a tourist there ready to take a shot?”  A little fishy if you ask Rover.  Fuck you, Rover.  It’s New York City. There are tourists everywhere, and they all have cameras and they all have smart phones and everyone takes pictures of everything.  Thank God there was someone there to capture it, to restore our faith in humanity.  Get over yourself.

Come on, WMMS.  Get rid of Rover.  You could really do so much better than this League of Extraordinarily Horrible Radio DJs…and Extraordinarily Moronic people.  I can think of about 50 people who would agree with me and help you find a better morning show.

Hey all, feel free to forward this to WMMS.  I’m going to.


Posted by on November 30, 2012 in Daily Happenings


Tags: , , , ,