Selective Perfunctoriness

17 Jun


Let’s be honest. Lately, Erica = Crabass.

I don’t mean to do it. Well, sometimes I do. But I’ve discovered a few things from my new friend Ana (NOTE: It’s been more than a few things that I’ve learned from her.  This includes, but is not limited to:  Mercury Retrograde, happy essential oils, charting, Patrick Stewart, DragonCon, making costumes out of 90s platform boots, tequila, Mexican food, 100 calorie Skinny Cow Truffle Bars, etc.).

The most important thing that I’ve learned from Ana, however, is perfunctoriness. Yes, y’all, it is a word–perhaps my new favorite word. you probably know what it means and don’t even realize it.

Perfunctoriness = Apathy, which ultimately = MEH.


In order to be happy, we have to surrender our ability to care about certain things beyond our control. Here are a few things that I am attempting to be perfunctory about:

  • People’s grammar/spelling/punctuation on social media. I give up; almost everyone is a moron and luckily, thanks to my new perfunctory way of life, it does not affect me in any way.
  • People’s inability to do anything to help themselves. Perfunctory Erica says, “If you don’t want to help yourself, I’m no longer going to try to help you, either.”
  • Skinny jeans.
  • People’s whining about things that they probably shouldn’t be bitching about.  Bitch on, friends. You can’t touch me up here on my cloud of perfunctoriness.
  • Terrible music.
  • People in stations of power who do not deserve to be in power are no longer my concern.
  • The weather.
  • People’s inability to read whether or not I care about what they’re talking about. Let ’em talk. I’m thinking about pickles.
  • Bad decisions made by others that do not affect me.
  • And a preemptive one:  People who have anything to say about how Mike and I will raise our nuggets. Trust in my perfunctoriness now and glorious children will be revealed.

This, of course, is a starter list. I assume that my perfunctory sense of being will prevail in even more areas of my life as I grow older and more pregnant.

I must note, however, that I am choosing to be selectively perfunctory. I do care about some things, like Mike, my family, my baby, stuff that directly affects me. I’ll just keep the caring to that stuff. 🙂




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Posted by on June 17, 2014 in Daily Happenings


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