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Category Archives: Domesticity

Learning domestic tasks…or hating them.

My Ovaries Finally Glowed to Perfection: I’M PREGNANT!

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…what do you do when you finally get what you’ve wanted all along? ¬†SMILE AND BE HAPPY AND SAY YOUR PRAYERS AND SAY THANK YOU, DAMNIT! ūüôā

I’m pregnant! ¬†It’s true. Mike and I found out two days after our friend’s parents gave us a KICK ASS fertility statue. ¬†See? ¬†Sorry it’s blurry. I took it on the drive home (with a sober driver) and we made sure we strapped her in.

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Want proof?

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We are STUPID excited! ¬†According to our ultrasound, we’re due November 10th. ¬†That may change periodically, but that’s the date I’m sticking with! Want more proof? How about a video?

 

 

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My Revival as a Housegirlfriend! aka MIKE GOT A JOB!

It’s true! ¬†It’s finally true! ¬†In the midst of all the terrible things that happened last week, there was a glimmer of light. ¬†My boyfriend got a job in OHIO, where we can finally be together.

For those of you not keeping track, THIS IS HUGE. ¬†We spent a year and a half apart while I was in North Carolina and he was in Pennsylvania. ¬†I lived with him for five months after grad school, then got my job in Ohio. ¬†I’ve been here for over a year and eight months.

WE ARE GOING TO BE TOGETHER.

This can actually happen!

I need to learn to cook! ¬†I’ll have to make room! ¬†And we’ll get to kiss when we want to kiss!

This is by far one of the best things that could have happened. ¬†I cried when I found out and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. ¬†He’s going to be with me, and that’s all I’ve wanted over these past three years minus those five glorious months that we were together.

I don’t know what else I could write in this post to convey my happiness… ¬†So there it is!

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2012 in Daily Happenings, Domesticity

 

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Call for Crafty Help

CALLING YOU CRAFTY PEOPLE who know how to crochet or knit.

Lindsay, I hope you’re still reading my blog, because I know you could help me with this. ¬†I want to make the afghan that sat on the back of Roseanne’s couch for the majority of the seasons.

See it? ¬†Isn’t it wonderful and gaudy and lovely?! ¬†I want to make it. ¬†So who’s going to help me?

I found the pattern here and here (they seem different to me) and if anyone can help me get this started/done, I would really appreciate it!  Because I mean, seriously, how sexy would this look on the back of my couch?

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2012 in Domesticity

 

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Retro Ads, Courtesy of Tom!

I’m lucky grateful that my coworkers–or anyone for that matter–read my blog. ¬†My friend Tom found a gold mine database of retro ads that just make my little ole heart flutter.

Here are a few of my favorites (all courtesy of the AdAccess archive at Duke University):

Truth is, ya’ll, I’m busy today, but I thought you’d enjoy seeing this!

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2012 in Daily Happenings, Domesticity

 

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A Power Hour…on Twitter? And a New Roseanne Friend!

It’s true. ¬†Power Hours no longer have to be experienced in a dirty sticky dorm room with Natural Light cans falling to the ground every few minutes. ¬†Power Hours have taken to the interwebs! ¬†Last night, I experienced something wonderful–my first Power Hour via Twitter.

I did Power Hours all the time in college. ¬†For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, a Power Hour is an hour in which you take a shot of beer every consecutive minute for an hour. ¬†This is usually timed to a CD of 1-minute snippets of 60 songs pieced together.

Since college, though, I’ve only done a few Power Hours. ¬†My darling old roommate Kay and her husband Matt still do Power Hours on a regular basis and this makes me proud.

My friend Mike created a Twitter handle specifically for the purpose of Power Hours on Twitter, and about 5 of us got online last night to partake. ¬†I have to say that I miss these people from college terribly. ¬†It was so nice to be able to sneak a case of Natty Light in a backpack (remember, Ashland University is “dry”) up the stairs to the dorm rooms or the frat house and hunker down with your friends (which is something you should do if you are currently attending or plan to attend AU).

I was introduced (via Twitter, of course) to a woman named Kendal.  In the process of the Power Hour, Mike asked what song was playing for each of us.

I answered that I was not, in fact, listening to a CD, but rather watching Roseanne.  Simultaneously, Kendal said the same thing.  She, like me, does not have cable and watches all 9 seasons of Roseanne on repeat.  Just.  Like.  Me.

The world stopped for a few seconds.  With her on Season 2, Disc 1, and me on Season 8, Disc 2, I knew that something spectacular had happened.

Kay, Kendal, and I are going to have to get together and watch Roseanne. ¬†There have to be drinking games to Roseanne, right? ¬†Oh wait, here‘s one!

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2012 in Daily Happenings, Domesticity

 

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Domesticity: On Cooking

You know I don’t cook and that I hate the grocery story. ¬†But you do¬†know that I love wine¬†and drinking in general. ¬†(Lately it’s been gin and tonics, because it tastes like Christmas in a glass!) ¬†And as I am usually late to the game with these things, I am late to the Youtube sensation called My Drunk Kitchen.

She does the kind of cooking that I could get behind.  Check this out:

No matter how many times I watch it, I laugh my ass off.  I know that a lot of it is editing, but seriously!  I could go through two bottles of champagne or wine or gin and tonic and make a grilled cheese sandwich sans cheese!

All I’m saying is that if I’m going to learn to cook, I’m going to need to be drunk.

Butter yo shit.

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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“A Good Wife Always Knows Her Place” Hell, even I don’t believe that.

My friend Greg sent me this yesterday.  You can click it to see it a little bit bigger.

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Now, I’m sure you all know that I long for some sort of return to the 1950’s housewife…but in order for you to see (ahem, Jarvis) that I am somewhat level-headed about gender roles, women’s rights, and all that bullshit, I will say this:

About 1/4 of the things on this list are CRAP.

  • For instance: ¬†Eliminating all noise? ¬†Pfff. ¬†A noisy house is a happy house. ¬†It’s kind of on par with what Roseanne says in her sitcom when someone walks into her house: ¬†“Excuse the mess, but we live here.” ¬†Damn straight.
  • Second instance of crap: ¬†“Listen to him. ¬†You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. ¬†Let him talk first–remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.” ¬†HA HA HA. ¬†My ass.
  • Third instance: ¬†“Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. ¬†Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.” ¬†Ha. ¬†Yeah, that’s how you enable him to cheat. ¬†Letting him go out without question.
  • Fourth crappier instance: ¬†“Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. ¬†Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.” ¬†He’s not a child–he’s a man. ¬†And although there’s a fine line between the two, he can take off his own damn shoes.
  • CRAPPIEST instance: ¬†“You have no right to question him.” ¬†My ass. ¬†I do, so.

So you can all shut up about me single-handedly setting us women back to the 1950’s. ¬†I only wanna go 3/4 of the way back.

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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