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Category Archives: The Book of Love

A Wedding Rant

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Here’s something I found out recently–planning a wedding is obnoxious–almost as obnoxious as Gwyneth Paltrow!  Before I start bitching, I will say that things have been good, and we’re lucky that my wonderful parents are graciously paying for it, and Mike’s wonderful parents are picking up the booze and rehearsal dinner.  We are INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL.

But here’s my wedding rant.  

Invitations.  The place where I got my invitations sent me a wonderful box of goodies with my name and Mike’s name all over the contents.  I took everything over to my grandparents house with the goal to do a marathon invitation stuffing session and get that shit in the email.  Only once I was ready did I realize that they failed to send me the right RSVP envelopes.

So all my RSVP cards would go to a woman named Jenny in New Jersey.  Invitations are on hold.  I haven’t forgotten about you.

Can I also just say that the price of invitations is RIDICULOUS?!  It’s a piece of paper that people will stick on their refrigerator or bulletin board for two months prior to your wedding.  On the day of your wedding, they’ll peel it down, stick it in the cup holder of their car where it will get stained by last week’s coffee, and reference it only to find out how to get to the church and then to the reception.  And then, in the morning, they’ll throw it away.

So if my invitations are not incredibly fancy and you are disappointed, I apologize.  But really, what do you care?  On October 27, it’ll be in the trash.

Where do I believe that the money should be spent on a wedding?

BOOZE, Photographer, DJ, Food, Cake.  Because really?  I don’t remember what one invitation looked like, what one bridesmaid bouquet looked like (except for those weddings I was in), what the flower girl wore, what the wedding favors were (although mine are going to rock), or whether or not the chairs had bows on the back.

Good day.

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2013 in The Book of Love

 

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I’m getting MARRIED!

My days of being a housegirlfriend are now limited.  Less than a year!  Then I make the upgrade to HOUSEWIFE!

That’s right, everyone!  Mike popped the question–and I said yes!

Here’s how it went down:  It was last Thursday, and Mike said he’d been wanting to go up to the lake and out to eat at this place in Westlake.  It was 80 degrees, so we took advantage of the night and decided to go.  We got in the car and about halfway there, Mike said, “Oh, I forgot.  I made you a mix.”  He started playing all these songs, and I noticed that there were notes going across the screen from Mike to me.

When we got to Huntington Beach (Ohio, people–not California), we walked out onto a jetty and watched the planes circle Cleveland.  It was really beautiful.  Then we walked up to the water tower and looked out over Lake Erie.  When we got back into the car, Mike turned the mix back on.

Here’s the thing…  When we were living in Wilmington, NC, this is how we spent most of our dates–in a car, listening to music and drinking McDonald’s coffees.  That’s where he’d given me the first playlist.  And this is where we first met by the water to learn about each other.

Here’s the other thing.  About two years ago, Mike and I were listening to songs, and an instrumental piece came on.  Immediately, I said, “This is the song I want to walk down the aisle to.”  He kind of laughed it off, but I never forgot.

Apparently, neither did he.  Because back in the in the car, about halfway through a song, Mike got out, claiming he had a CD case in the trunk for the mix.  Then the song started playing, the one I said I wanted to walk down the aisle to…and all the sudden, Mike was on my side of the car, the door open, and down on one knee.  And as the music picked up, I realized what he was doing.  He started talking to me, and I started crying.  I kept kissing him before he was done talking…

I saw the ring in his hands, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.  And then he asked me to marry him.  I nodded, fumbled, cried.  Then I jumped up and threw my arms around him, and for about 15 minutes, we stood in the parking lot.  Me jumping around, Mike smiling, us holding onto one another.

After that, we began what we like to call our Engagement Tour.  We drove to Fremont to tell my parents, and the next day, we drove to PA to tell Mike’s parents.  🙂  It was PERFECT.  We’re still floating.

This is my ring!

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

The Male Condition – A Complete Misunderstanding of All Things Wedding

Hey Ya’ll.

No, I’m not engaged yet, but since everyone around me is getting married, there are a lot of fun conversations happening.  And because by the end of December, I’ll have gone to at least 7 weddings (I lost count), the conversations are a-plenty.  They all have a common theme, too…  I’m realizing that most men know nothing about wedding things.

I’m sure this is on purpose, or at least understandable based on the fact that most men don’t moon over weddings like us women do.

For instance, my Mike didn’t realize that there were two rings involved for the women–an engagement ring and a wedding band.

And someone recently said that their boyfriend thought the engagement ring was just a band, and the ring at the wedding was the more ornate one.  NO!

Ha ha…  so I’m giving the links of all my engagement/wedding etiquette here as a recap.  Call it a resource page for your men:

Engagement Rings

Proposals and Etiquette for Men and Women (don’t get a proposal planner!)

How to be realistic (this is more for the women) about proposals

Wedding Showers

Remember that time I met David Tutera?

That is all!  Any other confusion?  Ask me.

 

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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On Wedding Showers / Bachelorette Parties / Receptions

Let’s face it.  Over the past 5 years, I’ve been to a helluva lot of wedding showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, and receptions because I’m one of the very few people in my circle of friends that hasn’t taken that dive into adulthood yet.

And I’ll be honest–each one ignites a small green flame of jealously in me.  But each one also brings a landslide of ideas of do’s and don’ts for when my time comes.

I realize that each person is different, and that each event should be tailored to the people in which they honor.  So just because something isn’t my style doesn’t mean it’s not theirs.  But all these showers/parties/receptions have left me making lists for my own.  Of course I can’t plan my own shower or party, but I do have some suggestions for whoever is involved when the time comes:

The Wedding Shower

  • NO GAMES.  NONE.  No one wants to list silly facts about me.  No one wants to answer questions.  No one really cares how we got to where we are–just that we are there.  I’ll give all my guests favors should you desire compensation for coming to my shower.
  • Food:  We’re grilling out.  Burgers, hot dogs, and veggie burgers.  And plenty of fixin’s and sides.
  • Drink:  Alcohol.  Because let’s be honest. You’ll have more fun, and so will I.
  • Place:  Outside.  Duh, we’re grilling.  Let’s have a bonfire!
  • Presents:  Appreciated, of course.  And I will not be offended if you are not interested in watching me open them.
  • Boys:  NONE…during the shower.  I want the guys to drop off their ladies and head to a local bar.  Then I want them to come back when the shower is over, eat the rest of the food, move/pack up the presents, and continue drinking.  Why not just make the shower a party?
  • Get a little crazy. 🙂  Why not tent camp?
  • EDIT:  Jenny would like me to inform you that there will be funny hats.  Lots of them.

The Bachelorette Party

These always make me nervous.  The truth is that I just don’t want my bridesmaids/family/etc. to have to spend a bunch of money to have a party for me.  So here’s what I want:

  • All the ladies meet at someone’s house to do some pregaming.  Pregaming = cheaper than drinking in a bar.
  • We can do this for 1 hour or 5 hours.  I don’t really care.
  • Take me to one bar.  That’s it.  I don’t really want to go anywhere crazy.  If we’re in Fremont, let’s make it the Depot.  Otherwise–let’s find some beer specials.
  • I’m fine with strippers so long as they don’t touch me with their junk.
  • I will wear typical bachelorette party attire.
  • If you’re going to provide me with dirty gifts, do it at the house before we go to the bar. 🙂

The Reception

Now this…this I do have some control over, and I’ll keep it a surprise for those of you who will be there.  The rest of you will have to rejoice in pictures someday. 🙂

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2012 in Daily Happenings, The Book of Love

 

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First Kisses (Maple Syrup-Like Sap Warning)

The movies always portray the first kiss as this wondrous little sparkle that ignites the fuse of the relationship and burns quickly until–you guessed it–you get to that stick of dynamite and everything blows up.

Oh, don’t worry, ya’ll.  Mike and I are nowhere near the end of that fuse.  I’m not quite sure there is one ( 😀 ).

I don’t believe that everyone has their “first kiss” and that’s it. I mean, each first kiss is a chance to start it all over.  That’s why people place so much precedence on it.

My very first first kiss was kind of a disaster.  I didn’t know it was coming, or what I was doing for that matter.  I was walking a boy out of my parents’ house on an early spring night.  I thank him for stopping over, gave him a hug.  And with my attempt to end the hug, I had lips on my face.  Strong, high school band, trumpet playing lips.  In truth, I didn’t want it to ever happen again. When I went back into the house, my mother realized my horror and smiled.

Oddly, I do not recall the first kiss of the boy I dated for three years in high school.  It was either on a bench at the ice rink, or in the back of my mother’s minivan while she drove us to his house.

There was a first kiss in my dorm room at Ashland University that I had been waiting for for months and told my roommate Kay about in the showers the next morning–all babbling and blushing and wonderful.

A hesitant first kiss on my front porch after he’d jumped down, paused, thought twice, and jumped back up.  That kind of sums up that relationship.

There was a first kiss that devastated a two-year infatuation in a single moment with a long-haired, Trans-Am driving mechanic that smelled of patchouli rose oil and Marlboros.  Because really, a kiss is sometimes all you need to know that what you were after was a bad idea.

And then I remember my first kiss with Mike.  Weeks of wanting to, but being unable.  Too many nights holding hands in the streets, our forearms brushing together, staring at each other’s mouths.  And then watching a movie in a dimly lit living room on Petral Court, he made a joke about Dirty Dancing, I jokingly pouted about Patrick Swayze and pulled a quilt over my head.  And then he was under the quilt with me, all warm breath and closeness, the light poking through the swirls left by the thread that held the quilt together.  In the dark, where neither one of us could see, our lips landed on one another’s and lit the fuse.

It was the best first kiss of my life.  And if I’m lucky, it’ll be the last first kiss of my life. 🙂

 

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Guilt Free Three Update: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE CHRIS HEMSWORTH?!

Um, here’s the update:

Angus Stone

Taylor Kitsch

And CHRIS HEMSWORTH.  WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!  

I’m sorry.  I can’t talk right now.  My mind is elsewhere.

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Guilt-Free Three Update: Folk Singer Edition

The Guilt-Free Three officially has a Folk Singer Edition.  Mostly because of one man–but I’m realizing that folk singers are mighty sexy.  MIGHTY.

So here we go:

#3:  Kristian Matsson:  The Tallest Man On Earth

HOLY GEEZ.  Not only is his voice and his music AMAZING, he’s like a Swedish James Dean.  Lordy!

#2:  Charlie Fink:  “Noah & The Whale”

Gimme that hair!

#1:  Angus Stone:  Angus & Julia Stone

Whaaaaa–okay, I’ll admit it.  This is the whole reason for this post.  HOLY SHIT.  The hair, the scruff, the chest fur, the voice, the harmonica.  I can’t help myself.  Luckily, he only sings with his sister, so he’s not married–plus, Mike digs his sister Julia.

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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