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“A Good Wife Always Knows Her Place” Hell, even I don’t believe that.

My friend Greg sent me this yesterday.  You can click it to see it a little bit bigger.

Click to see the larger version

Now, I’m sure you all know that I long for some sort of return to the 1950’s housewife…but in order for you to see (ahem, Jarvis) that I am somewhat level-headed about gender roles, women’s rights, and all that bullshit, I will say this:

About 1/4 of the things on this list are CRAP.

  • For instance:  Eliminating all noise?  Pfff.  A noisy house is a happy house.  It’s kind of on par with what Roseanne says in her sitcom when someone walks into her house:  “Excuse the mess, but we live here.”  Damn straight.
  • Second instance of crap:  “Listen to him.  You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first–remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”  HA HA HA.  My ass.
  • Third instance:  “Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night.  Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.”  Ha.  Yeah, that’s how you enable him to cheat.  Letting him go out without question.
  • Fourth crappier instance:  “Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.  Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.”  He’s not a child–he’s a man.  And although there’s a fine line between the two, he can take off his own damn shoes.
  • CRAPPIEST instance:  “You have no right to question him.”  My ass.  I do, so.

So you can all shut up about me single-handedly setting us women back to the 1950’s.  I only wanna go 3/4 of the way back.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 14, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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Why I Fail at Being My Definition of a Woman

Here’s where you all get to attack me, since I attack many of the things that ya’ll do.  So I’m going to attack myself for a change.

I continuously talk about what I think men should be:  strong, independent, lumberjackish, able to grow facial hair, broad-shouldered, rough-handed, handy around the house, etc.  Maybe it’s not so much what I think men should be, but rather I describe the type of men that I am attracted to.

Many of my rants spawn from the fact that I see gender roles disappearing, and I still stand by the by the fact that I think this world needs gender roles to continue on with any sort of organization.

The point of this post, though, is that while I do fall into my ideal of female thought, I do not act as though I think a woman should act.  Let me explain.  I think men should be all of those above characteristics…  I also think women should possess certain characteristics and skills.  And here’s the big moment:  MANY OF WHICH I DO NOT.

I want to be this...only blonde.

That’s right, I’m a hypocrite.  Here is why I fail at being my definition of a woman:

  • I do not cook.  (I don’t rightly see the need to cook as I live alone…and I am holding out to learn it until I get married.)
  • I’m not really that crafty.  (Yeah, you saw my sweater. And I can crochet single stitches. But that’s about the extent of it.)
  • I only own one apron…and I’ve worn it once.
  • I do not clean my house in a cute dress and make-up.  (I wish I did…I might once I actually live with Mike.)
  • I cuss like a sailor.
  • I drink like one, too.  And not martinis.  I like beer.  I think I redeem myself on this one, though, with the mass amounts of wine I drink.
  • I do not get excited about kitchen appliances (except refrigerators).

Maybe I’m not the woman I want to be yet, because I don’t feel like a full-fledged woman.  I feel like a college kid, still.  I live in an apartment, alone, so there’s no reason to cook.  And no reason to get all gussied up to spend my evenings alone.

I honestly think I will feel like a woman when I have a home of my own (then I will really get excited about kitchen appliances) and when I can cook for someone.  I will especially feel like a woman when I have children.  I’m in a weird sort of limbo right now.  I guess we’ll see how this turns out.

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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