RSS

Tag Archives: bars

What’s the deal with stripper poles?

Friday night, my co-workers and I went out for some pumpkin beer.  We had a great time.  My friend Matt, who continually busts my chops about something, started complaining that none of my blog entries interest him.  In turn, I gave him the opportunity to pick out my blog content for this week.

His first choice?  Stripper poles.  And why women are “drawn to them like a bug is drawn to a bug zapper.”  And if stripper poles were actually bug zappers, “we’d have dead hoochies all over the place.”  Words of wisdom, my friends.  Words of wisdom.

So why are women drawn to stripper poles?  Let’s dumb this down to poles in general.  If a woman is in a bar (I’ve seen *ahem* and done *ahem* this before–Windsor, Canada rings a bell…), and there is a pole nearby, there is a 80% chance that at some point throughout the night, she will grab on to it, throw her head back, swing around a little bit, and carry on drinking.  The show may go on a bit longer if she is getting attention.  Which brings me to reason #1 that women go to stripper poles.

#1:  Attention.
Women love attention.  It’s in our blood.  So if we’re going out, we’ve probably done our hair, painstakingly picked out an outfit, and we want someone to notice.  And as soon as you grab a pole, people notice because they’re interested to see what will happen next.

#2:  To turn you dogs on.
Right along side of the desire for attention is the desire to feel physically attractive.  We get on stripper poles because as soon as we touch that metal, we have every man in the room’s attention.  Whether he thought you were attractive to begin with or not, as soon as you touch that pole, you have his undivided attention.  Why?  Because you’re probably about to do something slutty, and men will watch purely for the chance that you will.

#3:  We’re drunk.
So basically, drunkenness means bad decisions.  You go sleep with your best friend’s little sister.  We wrap ourselves around a pole in public.  A stripper pole.  When you’re drunk, everything seems like a good decision.

#4:  The freedom.
I know what you’re asking.  “What freedom?”  The freedom of flying through the air on a stripper pole while your senses are already dulled and your head is buzzy and you can’t feel your nose or your front teeth!  It’s like getting drunk and finding a swing set.  The pole is just more apt to be found in a bar.

#5:  Finally–to prove that we’re not that drunk.
We can still hold onto a pole and flail ourselves about.  So we’re not that drunk.

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on September 19, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Memorial Day Weekend – What’s Missing From My Brunswick Life

Memorial Day Weekend makes you remember what you love the most.  Decidedly, it was one of the best Memorial Day Weekends I’ve had in a really darn long time.

From a Friday night date night with Mike to a Saturday at the Depot, and then to a Sunday full of threatening weather, and a pontoon boat ride out to Jimmy Bukkett’s, it was all I could have wanted.

Here’s why:

  1. The Depot – My bar.  MY.  They know me.  I know them.  They know what I drink.  That’s what a hometown bar should be.
  2. Family – My cousins and I lay by the pool all weekend long, and complained about the storms, and how we just weren’t getting the tan we wanted.
  3. Storms – I love the tizzy that my mother (and the rest of my family) goes into when severe weather threatens…
  4. Boat Rides – …and the way I get on a pontoon boat with Mike and some amazing new friends to go out and drink at Jimmy Bukkett’s–a true oasis on the Sandusky River.
  5. New Friends – Like I said.  New friends.  New engagements.  New lives beginning (congrats Mike and Malinda!)
  6. Old Friends – They’re the ones you miss even when you didn’t realize you missed ’em.

Come Monday, I got a pretty wicked burn.  I would post pictures, but in order for you to see the extent of said burn, I’d have to show you tan lines, and as much as I love you bloggities, I don’t want to show you those parts of my body.

CHEERS!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on May 31, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

An Official Announcement: I Am Coming to Wilmington, NC

It’s official!  Officially I am going to  Wilmington!  I’ve had the travel bug for some time now, and I am still astounded to say that I miss Wilmington.

So when I get off of work on June 30, I am going to drive to Pennsylvania, pick up Mike, put him in the front seat of Delilah, throw his luggage in the back, and start off across Pennsylvania on our 12-hour drive to Wilmington!

And I’m not just excited about Wilmington.  I’m excited about a multitude of things:

Pilot Mountain

1)  The Drive.  I fell in love with the drive to Wilmington and certain parts of the way along with it.  I love the Sheetz in Breezewood, PA, and how all the gas stations sit in a tiny valley where huge roads intersect.  The cigarette tower in Richmond, VA, how dangerously close I come to Washington, DC and all its scary traffic.  I love Pilot Mountain in North Carolina, and the way I can convince myself that I already smell the ocean.   I love being in a car for 12 hours, drinking coffee and eating beef jerky, seeing the number of North Carolina license plates increase.  I love driving 75 mph and throwing my hand out the window to feel the wind rush through my fingers.

2)  Seeing friends.  Scott, Michelle, Harden, Jenny, Carmen, Erica, Amy, Loretta, Erin, Brent, the Stonewalls, Shane, Doug, Nick, St. John, and everyone else (If you want added in, let me know).

3)  FOOD. Flaming Amy’s, Mellow Mushroom, Indochine, gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

4)  Bars.  The Reel Cafe where I knew I loved Mike.  The Blue PostBarbary Coast, The Goat and Compass, Level 5, THE FAT PELICAN!

5)  Beaches.  Getting TAN!  And seeing the ocean.

6)  Driving around in the memories.  I’m so excited.

If you want to get together, please let me know!

 
7 Comments

Posted by on May 18, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

Tags: , , , , ,