PS, it’s OPENING DAY for the Cleveland Indians. 🙂
WOOP WOOP! It’s finally baseball season! GO TRIBE!!!
Why Cheerios never float alone–they always find each other in the bowl, even when you only have 3 left.
Why people who fly the blimp don’t come out talking like Alvin the Chipmunk.
Why trees limbs can grow around the chain that used to hold my tire swing.
Why belly buttons, like most scars, don’t disappear.
Why bananas are kinda shiny (they are-I swear it).
Why it’s okay to eat a runny egg, but not a raw one.
Why Rocky can eat raw eggs and nothing bad happens.
Why as soon as you talk about someone, they walk around the corner.
Why I can never remember if I locked my door, even though there has never been a time that I haven’t.
Why we like the underdog.
Why gender roles are disappearing.
Why we have to get old.
Why roosters and turkeys have that gobbler thingy.
Why it’s so hard for people to be monogamous.
Why we have to lose the wonder we have as children.
Why the corn sticks together when you cut it off the cob.
Why loud snorers don’t wake themselves up.
Why it’s called football, even though the ball is in the hands most of the time.
Why I always run out of conditioner before I run out of shampoo.
Why it’s called the World Series if it’s only in the USA.
Why we had to take Pluto’s planet status away.
Why people go to Mexico.
Why traffic is always worse when you’re in a hurry.
Alright dream interpreters, I need you again. Carmen? Where are you?
I fell asleep last night. In the middle of the night, I dreamt of Bieber.
It was not a dirty dream. Rather, it was a dream that just felt weird. I met Bieber, but it wasn’t like I was 20 years older than him (like I feel now). Bieber and I flirted for a hot minute. Then all of the sudden I was in his backyard watching the Cleveland Indians play baseball. Up close. 🙂
And then I was holding a baby. Cutest baby in the world. And she was mine! A fuzzy little purple onesie and a cute little nose nuzzled in my neck, and she fell asleep on me. And then there was a little baby boy, and darnit was he cute, too.
It was a very calming and happy feeling…as long as the babies didn’t belong to Bieber. Although…then I wouldn’t have to worry about starting college funds.
Of all the sports, I think I like baseball the most. I like that it begins when the world is just starting to warm up, and I like watching it live, under a blazing hot sun in plastic seats with a beer in my hand. And I like watching all levels of it–from little league to the MLB. It just feels right.
It feels American.
I’ve been told that there are only 9 minutes of action in a 9-inning game. But those moments of action are some of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. It’s kind of like life–you can sit back and enjoy most of it. There are some hits and some misses, and you deal. There are the super exciting Grand Slam moments, when you fall in love or have a baby, or when you win some big award. And then there are the pinches–the times that make you clench your jaw and get ready to swing because it’s all you can do to fight your way out.
And I’d be lying if I didn’t point out how sexy a man in a baseball uniform is…
Happy Baseball season! GO TRIBE!
Benny Rodriguez: Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun. I mean, if you were having fun you would’ve caught that ball.