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Deal Breakers – The Intro and #1

When you’re dating or looking for that one you’re going to love forever, there are certain deal breakers.  With friends, not so much.  I think it’s fun to have a wide variety of friends.  But lovers…well.  Having been in 4 long-term relationships (all between 16 and 34 months), I’ve encountered my share of deal breakers.  So I thought I’d share those over the next few days.

#1  Not Believing in God

I’ve been with one man who didn’t believe in God.  It was awful.  I’m Catholic, and I’m not one of those uber-devout ones.  I go through periods of being an every-weeker to a CEC–a Christmas-Easter Catholic, but that doesn’t stop the believing.

I used to worry about finding another Catholic, but it turns out that it’s not that easy.  It turns out that I really don’t care about the denomination of the man that I love, but rather I just care that he believes in God.  So at 19 when I was dating a man who I had actually gone to Sacred Heart (a Catholic elementary school) with and he decided that he didn’t believe in God, I was lost.

After every evening I spent with him, I cried myself to sleep hoping that someday he’d find something to believe in.

We ended up breaking up–not based on this deal breaker alone.  Years later, I heard that as he stood by his grandfather’s deathbed, listened to him talk to God, and watched him slip away that he walked away a believer.

I’m happy for him.

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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UPDATED: Something’s Gotta Give

Update:  I think something gave…but it wasn’t what I expected.

 

It’s not like I’m not thankful for everything that I have, but I am so damn tired of having a long-distance relationship.

Let’s figure out how long Mike and I actually were together over the past 3 years…

  • January 2009:  started hanging out as friends
  • March 19, 2009:  started dating
  • April 12, 2009 (Easter):  Mike moved back to Pennsylvania to start his new job
  • May 5, 2009:  I lived in Ohio with my parents for the summer (3 hours from Mike) and saw him most weekends
  • August 15, 2009:  Moved back to NC
  • September 2009:  Saw Mike one weekend
  • October 2009:  Saw Mike one weekend
  • November 2009:  Saw Mike one weekend
  • December 2009:  Saw Mike occasionally over break
  • January 2010:  Saw Mike one weekend
  • February 2010:  Saw Mike Valentine’s weekend
  • March 2010:  Saw Mike one weekend
  • April 2010:  Didn’t see Mike
  • May 2010:  Graduated, spent a final week in Carolina with Mike and my family, and moved in with him in Pennsylvania
  • May 2010-September 24, 2010:  Had 4 months of bliss living with Mike
  • September 29, 2010:  Started my new job in Ohio
  • January 5, 2012:  And here we are.

So 1 month at the beginning + 4 months in the middle + one weekend a month for a year + weekends for 1.5 years = about a year.  We’ve seen each other about 1 year out of our 3 year relationship.  Probably less.

Sigh.  I’m sorry I’m complaining.  I just really miss him today.

Photos courtesy of joannamontgomery.com and longdistancelover.com respectively.

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2012 in Daily Happenings

 

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Know what makes a good Friday?

Knowing your darling Momma is watching Friday Night Lights in your apartment, and cleaning up as she goes.

Having lunch with your darling Momma.

Going to a Browns game tonight with your darling Momma.

Seeing your boyfriend later on tonight.

Going home to Fremont.

And seeing a brand new baby boy named Jax.

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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