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Domesticity: On Cooking

You know I don’t cook and that I hate the grocery story.  But you do know that I love wine and drinking in general.  (Lately it’s been gin and tonics, because it tastes like Christmas in a glass!)  And as I am usually late to the game with these things, I am late to the Youtube sensation called My Drunk Kitchen.

She does the kind of cooking that I could get behind.  Check this out:

No matter how many times I watch it, I laugh my ass off.  I know that a lot of it is editing, but seriously!  I could go through two bottles of champagne or wine or gin and tonic and make a grilled cheese sandwich sans cheese!

All I’m saying is that if I’m going to learn to cook, I’m going to need to be drunk.

Butter yo shit.

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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SuzyFreakingHomemaker 1972

So I may not be pursuing my Womanly Challenge to the extent that it deserves, but I have been being more domestic.

On Sunday, I baked 10 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange party that I am going to on Thursday.  That’s fairly domestic, right?

I also scoured the internet for recipes that Mike might like.  I came up with Pasta Pie and Cream Cheese Spaghetti.  So after the cookies were done, I (okay, Mom and I) baked these up for Mike and Dad.

And last night, after I got home from work, I popped in a chick flick (Friends with Benefits–love it) and wrapped Mike’s parents’ Christmas presents.  🙂

That’s womanly, right?

 
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Posted by on December 13, 2011 in Daily Happenings, Domesticity

 

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Why I Fail at Being My Definition of a Woman

Here’s where you all get to attack me, since I attack many of the things that ya’ll do.  So I’m going to attack myself for a change.

I continuously talk about what I think men should be:  strong, independent, lumberjackish, able to grow facial hair, broad-shouldered, rough-handed, handy around the house, etc.  Maybe it’s not so much what I think men should be, but rather I describe the type of men that I am attracted to.

Many of my rants spawn from the fact that I see gender roles disappearing, and I still stand by the by the fact that I think this world needs gender roles to continue on with any sort of organization.

The point of this post, though, is that while I do fall into my ideal of female thought, I do not act as though I think a woman should act.  Let me explain.  I think men should be all of those above characteristics…  I also think women should possess certain characteristics and skills.  And here’s the big moment:  MANY OF WHICH I DO NOT.

I want to be this...only blonde.

That’s right, I’m a hypocrite.  Here is why I fail at being my definition of a woman:

  • I do not cook.  (I don’t rightly see the need to cook as I live alone…and I am holding out to learn it until I get married.)
  • I’m not really that crafty.  (Yeah, you saw my sweater. And I can crochet single stitches. But that’s about the extent of it.)
  • I only own one apron…and I’ve worn it once.
  • I do not clean my house in a cute dress and make-up.  (I wish I did…I might once I actually live with Mike.)
  • I cuss like a sailor.
  • I drink like one, too.  And not martinis.  I like beer.  I think I redeem myself on this one, though, with the mass amounts of wine I drink.
  • I do not get excited about kitchen appliances (except refrigerators).

Maybe I’m not the woman I want to be yet, because I don’t feel like a full-fledged woman.  I feel like a college kid, still.  I live in an apartment, alone, so there’s no reason to cook.  And no reason to get all gussied up to spend my evenings alone.

I honestly think I will feel like a woman when I have a home of my own (then I will really get excited about kitchen appliances) and when I can cook for someone.  I will especially feel like a woman when I have children.  I’m in a weird sort of limbo right now.  I guess we’ll see how this turns out.

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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Guilty As Charged

When I started this blog, I was fresh out of grad school, jobless, and living with my boyfriend, Mike, in Pennsylvania.  I’ve gotten into thousands of fights about what the roles of both men and women should be.  Recently, I offended my friend, Jarvis, who is an incredible writer and professor of Creative Writing in Maryland.  He posted a picture of a stack of papers and a two lap-top set up, and underneath, he wrote, “Man’s work.”  Just joking around (as I have joked with Jarvis about this on multiple occasions), I said, “Where’s the tool belt?”  Of course, I was insinuating that men do hard labor.  Which is not at all the case all the time.

Mike, my darling boyfriend, has been known to say (upon seeing me drool over construction workers, mechanics, and farmers), “I need a man’s job.”  Now, when I look at Mike, I see nothing but MAN.  He’s a GIS technician who maps the land, hunts, fishes, fixes things, builds things, takes care of me, and so much more.  Mike IS a man.  And he certainly does man’s work.

So is Jarvis.

But I’m getting away from myself.  I’ve always been one to appreciate gender roles.  I found this article talking about how Generation Y (me) women don’t know how to do certain things the way we did before.  I don’t know how to cook a pot roast.  I probably should.  And if you’ll remember, I previously wrote about how I CANNOT STAND COOKING FOR MYSELF!

Mike tells me I’m a hypocrite–that I love this idea of a woman cooking for her man and taking care of a house and babies and ladeeda.    Unfortunately, he has a point.  Something along the lines of, “For someone who rejoices in the idea of a housewife, you sure don’t take on the responsibilities.”

He’s right.  And for a long time I fought this.  I said I wouldn’t learn to cook unless I had a reason to–that being that he asked me to marry him and I would cook for someone other than myself.  But I guess this is the time to practice.

When Mom married Dad, she made Mrs. Grass’s soup for almost two years…unless Dad cooked.  I want to be able to cook; it’s just so hard without a goal in mind.  So I’ll quit saying, “Give me a reason, and I’ll learn how to cook,” and maybe I’ll actually just start cooking.

Any good recipe ideas for beginners?  Mike likes bacon.

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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I Hate to Cook

Many of my friends have food blogs.  And they seem to rejoice in the act (art?) of cooking.  Me?  I rejoice in drinking wine while Mike cooks.

I do not like to cook.  I love to bake…but I don’t like to eat what I bake.  I always end up giving it away.  But I don’t like to cook.  And here’s why:

I find it stressful. Incredibly stressful.  Especially if you’re cooking more than one thing at a time.  I respect all those who can move gracefully around a kitchen and nothing burns or falls apart or comes out crappy.  MOM.  Anyway, it’s stressful.  It’s a lot of running about, missing ingredients, spilling stuff on the counter, tasting as you go.

Who cares about presentation? The point of food is to keep you alive.  Yes, I want it to taste good.  But these people who fret over presentation?  I just don’t get it.  Garnish or not, it’s going to taste the same.  And I just don’t have time to stress over how it looks.  Slop it on the plate and eat it, I guess.  You’re just going to ruin it once you stick your fork in it anyway.

It’s a waste of money. For one person, that is.  I’m not about to buy a bunch of raw ingredients (hamburger, flour, bread crumbs, butter by the pound, blah blah blah) to cook for myself.  It will go to waste.  I will never use it all.  And I’ll be pissed when I have to throw it away.  Hence–perfectly portioned pre-made meals.  Or individually wrapped slices of cheese and so forth.  Stuff I don’t need to cook, but that will change drastically if I heat it up or something.

I just don’t like to eat. If I could get away with not eating, I would.  I’ve watched people make love to their hamburgers with their lips.  And I’ve watched my brother intricately put together a sandwich, close his mouth, and enjoy the mixture of flavors.  I’ve watched Mike run around the kitchen like Emeril, never looking happier, and then sit down and enjoy the fruits of his labor.  But not me.  I don’t get it.  I don’t like it.

It’s no fun to cook unless you’re cooking for someone. I know what you’re saying.  This chick wants to be a family woman (not necessarily a housewife, as working has proven to be quite a fun adventure) and she doesn’t know how to cook!  How will she feed her children?  Her husband?  Well let me tell you this.  Having these things completely eliminates all of the above reasons for which I hate cooking.  It wouldn’t be as stressful if I had a reason to cook–like sustaining my family.  And presentation…well, I still don’t care about that.  The waste of money?  Buying raw items to feed four people would certainly ensure that they don’t go to waste, especially if I’m packing lunches for my man to take to work.  Not liking to eat? I hope that someday I can learn to enjoy eating.  It’s a ways off, though.

On that note, good day.

 
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Posted by on December 8, 2010 in Daily Happenings

 

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