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Thank You, “Weird Al” Yankovic, For Your Lesson In Grammar

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Mike said to me today, “You’re getting a little snippier every day since you’ve been pregnant.”

I said, “I don’t know if it’s me being snippy. I just feel less willing to tolerate people’s idiocy.”

Remember Crank-Ass Erica? I guess she’s still here.  With that said, this country’s decline in grammar/punctuation/speaking/writing skills is truly disheartening to me, and I wonder where we’ll be in 10, even 5 years. Frankly, it horrifies me.

Will we all be vegetables with smart phones in our hands relying on squiggly red underlines to tell us that we’re idiots–and then will we simply ignore those squiggly red lines and use single letters to denote actual words? I fear the answer is yes.

I’m currently rereading Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, and I find myself enamored with the language and the grand language of each of the characters. Though the Bennets are not of the highest society, they still sound refined.  Hell, Elizabeth is witty enough to keep up her banter with Darcy–and that is a task in itself.

When I was in elementary school, I became insanely jealous of Jillian Rhoad (anyone know where she is?) when she showed up with “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Bad Hair Day.” I wanted it. I wanted all the songs on it. I thought it was clever and wonderful, and truth be told, it made me want an accordion. “Weird Al” has been kind of MIA of late, but in the past two days, I’ve read about two of his songs:  “Tacky” – the “Happy” parody and “Word Crimes” – the “Blurred Lines” parody, which is directly below this word.

At first, I was just thrilled that “Weird Al” was back. I f*cking love this guy.

But most importantly, I was hit with the very stark realization that when a guy named “Weird Al” has to step in to tell all the people on the Internet that they sound like morons, the world should take it as a sign that it’s time to start improving the way we speak and write. As a country and as a species, our communication skills truthfully make us look like a bunch of uncouth, barbaric slobs.

So I posted this on Facebook earlier, and now I’m putting the call to improve on my blog.

WeirdAl

Let’s get better, America!

 
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Posted by on July 15, 2014 in Daily Happenings

 

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The Thing About Bad Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation Skills…

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It might be the baby making me bitchier (or the fact that I haven’t had a drink in almost 5 months), but honest to God–if you’re going to post your life on the internet, PLEASE make sure you’re using proper grammar/spelling/punctuation.  PLEASE?!

Additionally, if you’re going to write to me or text me (and you even remotely know who I am), PLEASE use the correct words/grammar/spelling/punctuation. I can no longer tolerate it.

I know that grammar and spelling have gone to hell because of the Internet. I know that it’s easier to abbreviate and to not hit the apostrophe or the comma when you’re updating things on a phone. I KNOW. But I also know that it makes people sound like complete morons.

  • Learn the difference between they’re/there/their and your/you’re.
  • Don’t say “literally” unless it’s necessary.
  • Learn how to use semicolons, apostrophes, and all the other fun punctuation that exists for a reason.
  • And for cripes’ sake, learn to spell. Please. And if you don’t know how to spell something, guess what–GOOGLE DOES!  Also, quit spelling shit phonetically (that means “of or pertaining to speech sounds, their production, or their transcription in written symbols).

There are a billion other things I could say here, but I won’t. I don’t want to point out individuals. Or maybe I do…but my husband just told me to reel it in.

I will say this, however. I think it makes me the maddest (I just Googled “mad, madder, maddest” to make sure they were all words–yes folks, even I have to look things up sometimes) is when I see educators making these silly mistakes. It enrages me, mostly because I know these people had to get through four years of college to get that degree. It enrages me that the institution where they achieved said degree let them through without having the ability to write a proper sentence, but most of all, it enrages me that these are the idiots teaching our children.

Now, to make me smile (and to hopefully make some of you morons think twice before posting):

Agree Fasebuk grammar misspell spelling Their

grammar youre

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2014 in Daily Happenings

 

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