Tag Archives: kitchen

Why I Fail at Being My Definition of a Woman

Here’s where you all get to attack me, since I attack many of the things that ya’ll do.  So I’m going to attack myself for a change.

I continuously talk about what I think men should be:  strong, independent, lumberjackish, able to grow facial hair, broad-shouldered, rough-handed, handy around the house, etc.  Maybe it’s not so much what I think men should be, but rather I describe the type of men that I am attracted to.

Many of my rants spawn from the fact that I see gender roles disappearing, and I still stand by the by the fact that I think this world needs gender roles to continue on with any sort of organization.

The point of this post, though, is that while I do fall into my ideal of female thought, I do not act as though I think a woman should act.  Let me explain.  I think men should be all of those above characteristics…  I also think women should possess certain characteristics and skills.  And here’s the big moment:  MANY OF WHICH I DO NOT.

I want to be this...only blonde.

That’s right, I’m a hypocrite.  Here is why I fail at being my definition of a woman:

  • I do not cook.  (I don’t rightly see the need to cook as I live alone…and I am holding out to learn it until I get married.)
  • I’m not really that crafty.  (Yeah, you saw my sweater. And I can crochet single stitches. But that’s about the extent of it.)
  • I only own one apron…and I’ve worn it once.
  • I do not clean my house in a cute dress and make-up.  (I wish I did…I might once I actually live with Mike.)
  • I cuss like a sailor.
  • I drink like one, too.  And not martinis.  I like beer.  I think I redeem myself on this one, though, with the mass amounts of wine I drink.
  • I do not get excited about kitchen appliances (except refrigerators).

Maybe I’m not the woman I want to be yet, because I don’t feel like a full-fledged woman.  I feel like a college kid, still.  I live in an apartment, alone, so there’s no reason to cook.  And no reason to get all gussied up to spend my evenings alone.

I honestly think I will feel like a woman when I have a home of my own (then I will really get excited about kitchen appliances) and when I can cook for someone.  I will especially feel like a woman when I have children.  I’m in a weird sort of limbo right now.  I guess we’ll see how this turns out.


Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Domesticity


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If I were a kitchen utensil…

When I was a graduate teaching assistant in grad school, I always took attendance in my creative writing classes by asking a random question before I started lecturing.

Sometimes it was, “What song is the soundtrack to your day?”  “Do you have any pets?”  “What terrifies you the most?”

I asked questions because it got the students thinking about things other than how hungover they were, or that jerk in the dorm who burnt the popcorn and set the fire alarms off in the middle of the night (SHELLEY).  They started thinking outside of the box.

One of my favorite questions was, “If you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be and why?”

Well, now, in my Diary of a Housegirlfriend surrounded by bon bons and martinis, I thought, “Wow, I ought to answer this myself.  I do belong in the kitchen, after all.”  Oh, calm down, feminists.  You can just eat your power lunch in your power suit and your power pumps.  Then you can go burn your bra or something.

But really, if I was a kitchen utensil, what would I be?

I guess you have to define utensil.  Wiki’s list is huge, so I’m just gonna pick one.

I think that I’m going to go with this:  I would be the ice Kitchen-Aid standing mixer.

First of all, I choose this because I like to mix things.  I like to add things to my cereal (like honey or candy), to my coffee (all kinds of fun stuff), to smoothies, to cookies, to anything.  I like to mix stuff together to see what happens.

I also chose the automatic blender over a spatula because I think power tools in the kitchen are awesome.  What?  It’s not a power tool?  Go ahead and stick your hand in there and see if it comes out mangled.

And I chose this color, because it’s just freaking pretty.

Real Life Conclusions based on utensil choice:

I like to mix stuff up in life, too, just to see what happens sometimes.  The oddest combinations sometimes end up being completely awesome.

I like power, but in a controlled way.  Spin wildly out of control, but keep it in the bowl.

I appreciate pretty things.  Not to mention I’m in a blue/green phase.

And I like the finished product after laboring to make something.

So what kitchen utensil are you?


Posted by on July 29, 2011 in Domesticity


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POLL: Kitchen Sinks

This is for my own knowledge and the next post:


Thank you.


Posted by on June 7, 2010 in Domesticity


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