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Things That (Used to?) Baffle Me

Why Cheerios never float alone–they always find each other in the bowl, even when you only have 3 left.

Why people who fly the blimp don’t come out talking like Alvin the Chipmunk.

Why trees limbs can grow around the chain that used to hold my tire swing.

Why belly buttons, like most scars, don’t disappear.

Why bananas are kinda shiny (they are-I swear it).

Why it’s okay to eat a runny egg, but not a raw one.

Why Rocky can eat raw eggs and nothing bad happens.

Why as soon as you talk about someone, they walk around the corner.

Why I can never remember if I locked my door, even though there has never been a time that I haven’t.

Why we like the underdog.

Why gender roles are disappearing.

Why we have to get old.

Why roosters and turkeys have that gobbler thingy.

Why it’s so hard for people to be monogamous.

Why we have to lose the wonder we have as children.

Why the corn sticks together when you cut it off the cob.

Why loud snorers don’t wake themselves up.

Why it’s called football, even though the ball is in the hands most of the time.

Why I always run out of conditioner before I run out of shampoo.

Why it’s called the World Series if it’s only in the USA.

Why we had to take Pluto’s planet status away.

Why people go to Mexico.

Why traffic is always worse when you’re in a hurry.

 

Happy Friday!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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“Unacceptable!”

There are very few things that I deem to be unacceptable, but I saw a lot of them recently, so I’m going to make yet another list.

Unacceptable Things:

  1. Blatant littering
  2. Hitting a woman (luckily did not witness this one)
  3. Tailing people who have slowed down because of heavy rain
  4. Driving 10 under the speed limit without inclement weather
  5. Calling your mother a b****
  6. Telling someone who is clearly upset that, “It doesn’t matter.”
  7. Poking jokes at folks who recently died/how they died (RIP Ryan Dunn)
  8. Not saying thank you
  9. Letting your thong hang out
  10. Falling asleep with a fight in your heart
  11. Leaving church right after Communion
  12. Complaining about free food
  13. Complaining about anything free…
  14. Neglecting to be watchful of children
  15. Letting children run around wildly in restaurants (this obviously does not include McDonald’s-they can run wild there)
  16. Letting a cell phone ring if you don’t want to answer it (just silence the damn thing!)
  17. Not dancing with your date
  18. Punching property that is not yours
  19. Parking on the line

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on June 20, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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Ode to Ohio

When I moved to North Carolina, I moved to the very southeast corner.  I had the ocean at my fingertips, miles and miles of beaches, warm weather, magnolias, wisteria, southern drawls, surfers…  I had a downtown to rival many downtowns, a riverfront, a gorgeous view of everything.

And in Pennsylvania, I lived in a valley among some of the most beautiful rivers I’ve ever seen.  I have to admit that the flora and fauna of PA fit me better than North Carolina, but it still wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t Ohio.  And no one understood it–even the folks who were from Ohio.

But there are beautiful places in Ohio.  And beautiful things.  And beautiful reasons.  And it’s not just beautiful–Ohio is like an old friend that knows all my secrets and that continually opens its arms to me.

Here are the reasons I love Ohio:

–  My part of Ohio is flat.  I can see for miles and miles, and in all directions.  If I run a country block, I can see my entire path from where I am beginning.
–  Not all of Ohio is flat.  There are foothills of the Appalachians in the Southeast corner.
–  We do have a beach–on Lake Erie (don’t swallow the water).
–  Cedar Point, America’s Rockin’ Roller Coast.
–  The Lake Erie Islands.  Put-In-Bay is basically an island full of bars.  How freaking cool is that?  Plus it is home to the Longest Bar in the World – The Beer Barrel.
–  Ohio State football.  You can say what you will about Buckeyes, but at almost every single Ohio wedding I’ve been to, they play “Hang On Sloopy,” and we all sing along.
–  Cornfields…
–  The people here are the kindest I’ve ever met.  Sorry, South.
–  My family is here (this is fairly obvious).
–  Cleveland.  I know it’s “dirty” and there are some bad parts of town, and the sports teams leave a lot to be desired, but you’d be hard pressed to find a city with such devoted people.
–  The skies are wide open, just like you’re in the west without the dust storms.
–  The weather forces you to deal with extremes.
–  It also never lets you know what to expect.
–  We have tornadoes and droughts, awesome storms and quiet showers…I really like the weather.
–  I love the tractors on the roads, the friendly farmers, the waving hands.
–  The general blue-collarness of it all.
–  Ohioans aren’t above showing awe.
–  The bonfires.
–  Maple trees.
–  When the cottonwood fuzz starts flying, you know the fish are biting.
–  You can find rivers and streams everywhere.
–  Most of the men here are manly men.  Northern, manly, Ohioan men.
–  Pick-up trucks.
–  Country music.
–  Men working in their garages.
–  Willow trees.
–  Gas stations/Drive-Thrus
–  The fact that fairs and festivals are events that draw in an entire town.
–  How just about everyone I know has a pair of cowboy boots.
–  Ohioans aren’t afraid of hard work.
–  Cardinals everywhere.
–  Mourning doves.
–  Bike trails.
–  Fields of wheat.
–  The Amish country.
–  …I’ll be updating as I think of more.

There’s so much.  Maybe I’ll start an “Ohio” series delving into the things I love the most.  🙂

My heart is in Ohio.  Where’s yours?

 
12 Comments

Posted by on April 18, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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