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Why Pigs…I Mean Men Are Attracted to Younger Women

To continue with my Matt-Based Topic Week on the blog, I will address why men are attracted to younger women.  And if you’re a man and you say you aren’t, then you are lying.

Let’s just get right into this, shall we?

Men are attracted to younger women because:

1)  It’s survival of the fittest.  “Darwinism.”  Yes, the quotes are intentional, but whatever we choose to call this doesn’t change my opinion.  Men go after younger women because younger women radiate fertility.  Most men are looking to spread the ole seed, and they’re looking for good places to fertilize–places that will result in carrying on their legacy–or at least their offspring.

2)  Because younger women make them feel young again.  It’s a nostalgia thing.  As men age, they start getting nostalgic.  Think about it–ever walk up to a bonfire full of men, and all they’re talking about are the things they did when they were younger?  Well, they see a young red-headed 18-year-old at the grocery store and are reminded of that wild night in a hot tub when they were 17.  It makes them feel young again.  I get it.

3)  To up their ego–and to prove that they are still attractive.  A man thinks, “Hey, if I can get that young piece of tail to look at me, I’ve still got it going on.”  Okay, so maybe that’s not what they think verbatim, but you get what I mean.  And if they can get a young woman to walk down a crowded street with them, then they can show off that they’ve still got it to a ton of people.  In reality, though, all we’re thinking is, “He must have money.”

4)  Teacher Syndrome.  Older men think that they’ve got something to show the world.  They’ve been around, they’re “wiser.”  Ha ha, sorry.  Anyway, they think they can take an inexperienced girl and rock her world–show her something that she hasn’t seen before, make her feel like she never has before.   Good luck with that, men.

5)  Sugar Daddy Complex.  Many of the men who have Teacher Syndrome also have Sugar Daddy Complex.  Older men generally are more established and can provide younger women with things that younger men can’t–like $500 purses and student loan payments.

6)  The booty.  Men think that if they date a younger woman, they’re going to get the booty like they haven’t gotten it in years–either from their wives, ex-wives, or women their age.  This is probably true.  But watch out, boys–you make break a hip.

7)  Because they can’t/shouldn’t have it.  If we learned anything about my highly controversial, traffic-drawing blog post about longing for someone you can’t have, then we learned that people want what they can’t, and in this case shouldn’t, have.  Younger women are the holy grail for men, and regardless of how slim the chances are, they will continually go after them to prove that they can successfully get her attention.

So those are my theories.  There may be more.  There may be less.  You may think it’s bullshit.  🙂

However, if there is an older man out there who would like to purchase me the $500 handbag (oh come on, you knew it was me) or pay my student loans, you can contact me by leaving me a comment below.  I will NOT supply you with booty, but I’ll clean your house and do your laundry for a year!

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Posted by on September 20, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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Faaaall is Upon Us!

It’s cool out.  🙂  IT’S COOL OUT!!!!  It’s about damn time.  I was about to kick Indian Summer’s ass.

I love Fall.  It’s pretty much my favorite.

I love football and colorful leaves.

Pumpkin beer, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin carving, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin everything!

I love sweaters and deep fall colors. I love crunchy leaf walks, cold nights, bonfires, earlier, more colorful sunsets, crisp air, brisk wind, long drives, early Christmas shopping, and baseball playoffs.

I love cinnamon and baking and long phone calls.

I love yellow sun during the day and yellow windows at night.

I just love everything about it.  I’m so incredibly ready.

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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And then there was nothing to look forward to…

Remember when it was all shoobopshebangshebang?

They say once you hit 25 years old, the time seems to just fly past you.  This is true.  And I know why.

  • When you’re a little kid, you look forward to staying up late.
  • When you’re in elementary school, you look forward to art class, recess, Saturday morning cartoons.
  • When you’re in junior high, you look forward to seeing that boy or girl you like in the hall and the end of the day.
  • When you’re in high school, you look forward to the end of each class, to the parties on the weekends, and college.
  • When you’re in college, you look forward to the next kegger, the end of the next paper, the end of a test, Thirsty Thursday, fall break, spring break, summer, to being a senior.
  • When you’re in grad school, you look forward to finding your scene downtown, to going for long walks and talking intelligently with people who are interested in the same things that you are.  And again, you look forward to breaks and summer etc.

But once you hit the real world…

You realize that there are no classes that you look forward to.  You still live for the weekends, but the weekends are so short.  There are no long breaks to look forward to, and really no end point to anything.  That is why it is so important to like your job.  You’re doing it 40 hours a week, almost 52 weeks a year, until you’re 65 (70 for the Gen-Y kids).

As a single adult, it’s hard to find things to look forward to.  Currently, I am looking immediately forward to the following:

  • The weekend
  • My cousin’s baby shower
  • Meeting my friend’s baby
  • Swimming
  • Seeing Mike in 2 weeks
  • Doing my darn laundry

Is that sad?

Long term, I look forward to:

  • Having Mike with me on more than just the weekends
  • Marriage
  • Babies
  • Moving out of my apartment
  • Moving into a house
  • Getting that passion for writing back
  • Being able to forget sometimes

The long term is so far away.  The point is that you look forward to things as a kid, and that just makes time drag.  When you’re in a whirlwind adulthood and you’re constantly focusing on the now and making yourself better each day, you kind of lose track of time.  Hell, it’s the middle of summer and I’m not even sure how we got here.  It’s crazy.  Time really does fly.

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2011 in Daily Happenings, Domesticity

 

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The Book of Love: Longing for Someone We Can’t Have

I’m not calling anyone out here.  I’ve seen it, and I’ve done it.  And I’ve been the object of it.  We’ve all wanted someone we couldn’t have-a celebrity, a friend, another man/woman’s mate, a husband, a wife.  It happens.  We can’t help it.

But why?  Of course, I’ve come up with a theory about this.  Why else would I be writing about it?  So here are my reasons that we want those we can’t have…and why we enjoy it.

1)  It’s safe.  What could be safer than wanting someone we can’t have?  We can’t have them, so it already hurts.  There’s no unexpected heartache, no ups and downs.  It’s all downs, but when you expect it, it’s not so bad.  You don’t have to put yourself at risk at all based solely on the fact that you can’t have that person.

2)  It’s easy.  It’s so easy to love someone when you aren’t romantically involved with the person.  You don’t have to see all the little bad things like what she looks like without make-up, how she gets when she’s cranky.  You don’t have to see him watching sports on the couch in his underwear or walk past a bathroom and think, “Good God what did you eat?”  And you’re in love, so you’re automatically seeing things through rose-colored glasses, so you see no evil.

3)  The challenge.  Deny it all you want, but it’s fun to have a challenge-albeit an honorable one sometimes.  “Can I make her love me back?  Am I better than the douche she’s with?”  “If he’d only let me in, he’d know what it is to be in a healthy relationship.”  It’s primal.  You can’t help it.  You want to be better than the other person or the obstacle that is making your object of affection unattainable.

4)  The pity.  We like when we feel bad for ourselves, and when others feel bad for us.  It makes things easier on us, and gives us something to think about.  It also gives us something to blame the rest of our problems on.  Bad grades?  “Well I’m in love and preoccupied and she doesn’t want me back.”   Sadness can be beautiful…when it’s warranted.  But we like to think all our sadness is beautiful (anyone else thinking of the Backstreet Boys song Shape of My Heart right now?).  That it’s an honorable thing that we’re doing, sacrificing our happiness to demonstrate to another what they’re worth.  The problem with this is that you lose self-worth…and waste a lot of time…which ends up pissing you off more in the long run.

So I get it.  Like I said, I’ve been there.  And that’s my theory.

Plus, longing for unobtainable love kinda makes you look emo.  😉

 
7 Comments

Posted by on May 2, 2011 in The Book of Love

 

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The Best Weather Day

I love weather.  LOVE it.  And like most, I am wildly affected by the weather.

Part of what I love about Ohio is that the weather changes.  Every season change is a relief.  The heat of summer relieved by crisp fall days.  The brown of fall covered by the crisp whiteness of winter.  The cold and slushy winter broken through by spring flowers.  The soggy spring relieved by heat and freedom.

But while I like the change, I do have favorite types of weather–favorite types of weather days.

So here’s the one of the best types of day:

Summer time.  Saturday.  Wake up around 7am and the sun is streaming through the windows already.  It’s about 60 degrees and not humid just yet.  It’s the perfect time to go for a run.

By the time you get home, the thermometer is pushing 75, and you think, “Why shower?  I’ll just jump in the pool.”  And all day, you spent sweating in the 80 degree weather by a pool under a blue sky, punctuated by a few clouds just big enough for a little relief from the sun.

Around 6pm, dark clouds start building on the horizon. You’ve got a nice bronze/red color to your skin, and the salty sweat from your morning run has turned into the salty sweat from sunbathing.  With the rise of the clouds comes the tickle of wind.  And even though the wind is warm, it still chills your sun-warmed body, and you dart inside to shower before the lightning starts.

And when you’re all clean, your skin still tight from the sun and a loose nightgown flowing around your body, you go outside and sit on the porch, watch the clouds roll in and look for that first lightning strike before everything lets loose.  The storm is severe, but you do not fear a tornado.  You’ve seen this before.

And then the stars come out at the end of the night, and it’s cool enough to keep your windows open.  The smell of rain is all through the house, and a slight wind pushes your curtains mystically as you fall asleep.

I’m ready for one of those days…

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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