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Tag Archives: Men

Why It’s Okay for Men to Stare at Women

YES.  If you’ll remember my catcalling post, you can probably assume that I’m on board with this article.

“Why men can’t–and shouldn’t–stop staring at women”

Why are men looked down upon for looking at women?  Why do they feel ashamed if they’re caught?  I know that if I catch a man looking at me, I’m not offended–I’m rather flattered.  Hell, I’m flattered when I catch Mike looking at me.

So why is there such a stigma?  Even if the guys are older (as in the case of this article), just because they’re looking at a woman doesn’t mean that they’re going to sexually assault her.  They’re just giving recognition to a woman that they find attractive.  Big deal?  Absolutely–in the very best way.

Part of the reason men are questioning whether or not they’re pervs for looking at women?  I agree with “Y”:  “The problem for us as men is that we’re in the wrong culture, and we’re men at the wrong time. We’re not a culture that empowers men with casual sensuality.”

And quite possibly my favorite paragraph:  “I’m about to leave when Z tosses me a last thought. ‘Some women assume the male gaze is sinful and hurtful and evil, that men can never look at women in a different way. But that’s not what the gaze is about. Because a sophisticated man would not hesitate to gaze, and then he might be filled with regret and loss, and therefore gain self-knowledge.'”

Look on, men.  Look on.

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Daily Happenings

 

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Back in Ohio, 3 Years In, Love Him More Than EVER

Hi People!

I’m back in Ohio after my weekend with Mike in PA, Maryland (at the Rocky Gap Resort), and even a lil bit of West Virginia.  We had such a great time, and the weather couldn’t have been better.  We hiked and drank and ate and loved.  It was perfect.

I’m playing catch-up at work right now (this is my 3 minute lunch break just to update–does that tell you how much I love you all?), but I’ll post pictures soon.

In fact, I owe you a plethora of pictures, don’t I?  Perhaps tonight, after a long long long run (in my new kicks!) in the 80 degree March weather.  Unprecedented!

For now, I’ll tide you over with this–a picture of the ring Mike got me:

I love it!

Happy first day of Spring!

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2012 in Daily Happenings

 

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Respect for Womanhood Requires Respect for Manhood

Get your darn minds out of the gutter.  This has nothing to do with getting yours and then giving him his, too.

What I’m saying is this:  Ladies–you want your womanhood and your capabilities and all of your potential to be recognized.  You are proud to be women and want to be treated like equals.  You wanted to be respected, to be treated like a woman, and to catch no flack for doing both.

And oddly enough, and contrary to prior postings, I don’t see a problem with this.  But we (women) complain that there are no good men left.  There is no more chivalry and manners and men treating women like ladies.

Reasons?  I think I have two.

  1. Read the bold description up top and tell me that doesn’t sound demanding as hell.  It’s intimidating!  Powerful women are great and all, but when you’re so set on gaining respect and making your own way, men are afraid they’re going to offend you if they try to treat you like a woman.
  2. Second reason is that women are failing miserable to treat men like men.  I was the first to ask where all the real men have gone.

And I think I’ve solved it.

Women, you want respect, which you deserve.  You also want to be treated like a lady.  So LET men treat you like a lady for one thing.  Even though you can change your own oil and make it to your meeting with a Supreme Court Justice just fine by yourself, let a guy take on some of the responsibilities for you.  They LIKE taking care of you.

With that said, ladies, if you want to be respected and treated like ladies, you have to do the same for men.  Treat a man like a man and respect him.  Not only that–recognize that he is a man.

I know this sounds sexist.  But really, on both ends, we need to recognize what the other wants us to see in them.

Although Mike (boyfriend) and I are best friends, we also know not to just treat each other like pals.  He surprises me with girly things like spa products, and he opens car doors and other chivalrous things, but he has no doubt that I am capable of doing these things myself.

It works in reverse, too.  I see Mike as my equal, but I also recognize that Mike’s a man and enjoys doing man things, and truth be told, I don’t mind having him get the heavier bags when we go shopping, or running out to get the car in the rain so my hair doesn’t get messed up.

I’m digging myself into a hole.  I like gender roles, and I know some of you defy them in any way you can.  But when it comes down to it, you DO have a gender and I think it’s nice when it’s recognized.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2012 in Daily Happenings

 

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Deal Breakers: The Final Round-Up

So, I have a list of deal breakers that don’t really deserve a whole post of their own, so here are the final remaining deal breakers:

  • Tighty Whities
  • Being a manwhore
  • Inability to trust (this could have been turned into a post–albeit a preachy one)
  • Thinking that your sister is the best woman to ever walk the planet
  • Drinking yourself silly on a regular basis
  • Spending money carelessly
  • Telling ME how to spend my money (until we’re married–then it’s OUR money)
  • Being a pothead

That’s what I’ve got for now.

Tomorrow, I will entertain you far more than I did today.  But seriously guys, what are your deal breakers?

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Deal Breaker # 5: Momma’s Boys and Their Overbearing Moms

Disclaimer:  I’ve dated some boys whose mothers were/are amazing (Momma O. and Mike’s momma Terry are among them!).  So if I’ve dated your son and you’re reading this blog, I’m not necessarily talking about you…but I could be.  And if I’ve dated YOU and you’re reading this, and you’re upset that I talked about your mom, QUIT BEING SUCH A MOMMA’S BOY!

I’m a firm believer that when you date or marry an individual, you are also dating/marrying the family (unless they are completely estranged from them).

And I don’t know how I do it, but I’ve found a lot (read:  A LOT) of momma’s boys…boys who care more about what their mother thinks than anything else, and mothers who can’t get the picture to get out of their sons’ lives.

Let me give you some examples of overbearing mothers (all different) I’ve encountered:

  • Going so far as to yell at me for fighting with her son
  • Telling me that the only way her boy would marry me is if I got knocked up
  • Stalking me on Facebook because I hurt her boy’s feelings
  • Complaining that her boy spent too much money on my birthday gift
  • Telling me that I’d never be as important to him as his car
  • Bitching at me for not cooking her son a birthday cake–“How was I ever going to take care of him?”
  • Yelling at me for not giving her any time to be alone with her son
  • Glaring at me in line at the local Wal-mart long after her son and I broke up (this is lots of moms)
  • Trying to get me to take lingerie on my vacation with her son and telling me that if he’s as good a lay as his father, I ought to consider myself lucky

Yeah.  PUKE.

And boys caring more about what their momma thinks?  ANNOYING.  I blame the mothers.  Just because they can’t let go doesn’t mean that they ought to be sabotaging their sons’ relationships or still trying to control them.

So if you encounter a momma’s boy, save yourself the trouble and RUN.  It’ll be a HUGE deal breaker.

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Proposal Planners? Are you farking kidding me?

Well, you get two posts today because I just saw this:  There are proposal planners to to help men pop the question.  This almost makes me as mad as hipster marshmallows.

As if paying out the butt for a wedding planner isn’t bad enough (I’ll attack this some other day), now men are to the point where they can’t even plan their own PROPOSALS?!

I blame a combination of the following:

  • Women have beat men into thinking that nothing short of a trip to Paris will do.
  • Men have become completely unoriginal.
  • And if they need a proposal planner because they can’t think of their own unique proposal, they probably don’t want to marry their lady anyway.
  • Women desire to document every thing that happens to them with a camera (which you can do for free)
  • And men’s complete “bewilderment” of romance.

All said combinations of this are stupid.

Paris is silly.  Men are afraid to be original. And ladies, you do NOT need to pay a photographer or have a proposal planner there to document your proposal!  If your man can’t ask one of his friends or your friends to hang slyly by and snap pictures while he pops the question, then he’s an idiot.

And I don’t care if men are bewildered by romance and don’t understand it.  Women don’t need you to act like the men in romance novels–all that matters is that you put a little thought into it.  If Mike proposed to me over a McDonald’s coffee (which is how we first started hanging out) or on a swing set (where we go to feel like kids again) or one of the places where we met in the middle when I was in NC and he was in PA, well hell.  I’d be happy with that.

Ladies, if you said yes to a planned proposal (which cost between $500 and $1200), let me know so I can come there and give you a mohawk before your wedding.  Think about this–that money could have gone toward your engagement ring, your honeymoon, or starting your new life together.

Despicable.

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Deal Breaker # 4: Being Unable to Do What It Takes

Don’t worry–this isn’t a sexy blog (although you’d probably like it more if it was).

It is a pretty vague concept though.  Being unable to do what it takes.  In what, you ask?  Anything that matters.

I want someone who I know that I can rely on in any aspect.  If money was short, I’d expect my man (along with myself) to go out and find a better means of income, or at least supplementary income.  If the water heater breaks, I want him to either fix it or call someone who can.  And if my family needs him, I want him to step up.

And if all hell is breaking loose on the emotional front and the man checks out–deal breaker.  I mean, I got upset when I saw that I have a pen mark on my new Michael Kors purse, and when my internet was down the other day.  Lord–it could be anything.  But Mike does everything in his power to make me feel better, and I think that’s a real man.

I guess it seems to me that if you’re really dedicated and committed to someone, you step up and do whatever it takes to make that person’s life run easier.  And in a good relationship, you’re both doing that for each other.  It’s like Brad Paisley said, “You look at her and you finally start to live for some one else / And then you find yourself / That’s when you find yourself.”

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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