Tag Archives: parallel parking

If you can’t PARALLEL PARK, get off the road.

Okay, I have to say it–those farking cars that parallel park for you are going to RUIN THE HUMAN RACE.  Seriously?  Have we really lost the ability to parallel park ourselves?  Can we do nothing on our own anymore?  It’s not that farking hard!

And if you have your license and you’ve passed your maneuverability test, well damnit, you ought to be able to parallel park.

I am all for technology, people.  I work in it, I use it, I love it.  But at what point do we become helpless bags of skin that can’t even breathe without a machine?  But parking is something different.  Driving a car is a religious experience–one that shouldn’t be messed with.

Driving is the merging of man and machine, of power and control and force.  When I turned 16, nothing made me smile more than getting behind the wheel of my 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera and motoring down the road.  I controlled how fast I went, when I stopped, where I went.  I parked my car.  It was my machine to control.  And now we’re letting our cars control us.

Unacceptable.  If you can’t parallel park, get the hell off of the road.  If you can’t control a vehicle, I don’t want you behind the wheel.


Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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