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Apparently, They’re Called “Helicopter Parents”

Apparently they’re called “Helicopter Parents”.  And apparently “Helicopter Parents” are a bigger problem than I was aware of.

They’re such a problem, in fact, that due to an influx of said “Helicopter Parents”, kids in Colorado Springs, CO will not be able to participate in the annual Easter Egg Hunt.  IT’S CANCELLED!  Why?  Because of the “aggressive parents who swarmed into the tiny park last year, determined that their kids get an egg.”  I’m not kidding.

Apparently, “Helicopter Parents” refuse to let their children fail at anything–including Easter Egg hunts.  But it gets worse.  Not only are these parents taking away fun activities from their kids, but they’re also taking away all of their chances to learn anything for themselves.

I have no problem with parents that take an interest in their kids’ lives–but come on!  I don’t think kids should “win” at everything.  Losing builds character.  Making mistakes allows kids to learn.  Trying things and not being afraid to try them gives kids opportunities.  None of these things are possible with overprotective parents hovering around every turn.

I know this is pretty much what I talked about last Friday, but it deserves a second post.  Hovering.  Pfff.

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2012 in Raising My Youngins

 

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Today’s New Psychotic Parent Trend: It’s Not Even Safe to Play at Home

Whenever my parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc. hear about a new safety feature or rule regarding children, they always say, “I don’t know how we’re alive, or how you kids are alive for that matter.”

And as soon as I read this article, I thought, “Well son of a bitch.  If the world is so damn dangerous, how are we all still here, and how is the world so overpopulated?”

I had an “I am my mother” moment.  Which is perfectly fine.

BUT SERIOUSLY!  This stupid bitch finds out she’s pregnant, enters every product in her house into some stupid internet database, and threw out $25 lipsticks and a ton of other stuff because they were “toxic.”  Her thoughts (my paraphrase): “OMG PANIC what could these be doing to my baby?!”

Shut up.  You’re overprotective and clingy and you need a reality check.

Good God!  I mean, can we say first world problems?  “My poor snowflake has PVC in her mobile above her crib!”  Really?  Kids in Africa are living without homes, and you’re worried about PVC?

We all grew up with lead paint and asbestos, and pretty sure that no one stopped me from riding on the back shelf of my aunt’s two-door Mazda, and no one kept us from riding 7 kids in a Jeep Wrangler with no seat belts…or roof for that matter.  I ate dirt, played with bugs, ingested unknown liquids from the driveway, fell down, climbed trees, got away with not washing my hands, chewed on my crib, and God knows what else.

And guess what–I AM ALIVE!  And healthy.  And I have a job and take care of myself.

I’m not against taking care of your nuggets, people, but really?  I can’t handle these nutty ass folks.

Here’s what I think you ought to do:

Don’t let them drink stuff from under the sink.  That’s it.  Ugh.

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2012 in Raising My Youngins

 

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What to Expect When You’re Blah Blah Blah…

Yeah yeah yeah, you’re already offended.  Take this all with a grain of salt, as I have never been pregnant, and have never been a mother.

I don’t understand all this crazy “read every book-buy every new gadget-try every new fad” approach to parenting.  Have we not survived years without books on what to expect?  I mean, seriously, my cousins were talking about all of the things you aren’t supposed to do while you’re pregnant and my mom looked at me and said, “I did all of that…”  Then all the tests that they can do before the kid is born?  It’s crazy!

And then once that baby actually is born…it gets worse.  Baby yoga?

WTF is baby yoga?  Let the kid play and take the time to play with it.  There’s its exercise!  Not giving your kids gender roles to follow?  Not disciplining them?  Not letting them get hurt and learning what not to do?  Rushing over every time they bounce on their padded little asses?  Because society tells you to “let their children choose for themselves” and that discipline is “abuse”.  To each their own, though, I guess…

My point is, don’t get over-educated and buy into so much crap just because you “read” about it.  Instinct is good.  You don’t need a book to teach you instinct.

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2011 in Raising My Youngins

 

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On “Go the F*ck to Sleep” by Adam Mansbach

Hilarious.  Truly.  A book called “Go the F*ck to Sleep” is making people CRAZY!

They say, “That’s not a children’s book!”  No shit.  It’s for adults.

They say, “It’s insensitive!”  No it’s not.  It’s for adults.

They say, “It mocks parental frustrations!”  No, it doesn’t.  It makes parents realize that no one can get their kids to go the f*ck to sleep.

CRIMENY!  Any of these morons that believe that this book was written to be read to children are not fit to be parents.  Really?  Are you going to teach your child the “f-word” if they’re the age that they still need bedtime stories?  NO!

Now that that’s over with, I will say that this book is hilarious.  And it’s even more hilarious listening to it being narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.  For free, you can download the audio book.  FOR FREE people.

Go here.  Listen to it.  LOVE IT.  Do not read it to your children.  Otherwise, I will group you with the morons.

 

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