Tag Archives: parking

The Monday From Heaven/Hell

It’s been one week since I met David Tutera.  I saw him on TV yesterday and yelled embarrassingly loud, “I hugged him!”

That was the “Heaven” part.

But I didn’t tell you about the rest of that day.

People had been lining up for a meet and greet at Pat Catan’s since 10:00 that morning, and I knew that it was going to be a madhouse.  Mike’s 4:00 appointment had cancelled and we thought, “Let’s go take advantage of Cleveland.”

So we decided that we were going to go to the art museum near Case Western.  Once we got up there and paid for parking, we realized it was closed.  Instead, we walked around campus and laughed at all the worried little undergrads rushing about with laptops and exams and both decided that we didn’t miss it at all.

There are Botanical Gardens on campus, so we tried to go there.  Closed.

See where the Hell part is coming in?

Originally, we had wanted to go to the new aquarium, but didn’t want to spend $20 a ticket, but the way the day was going, we thought, “Well, at least we know it’s a sure thing.”


We got there (after a lot of turning around and second guessing) and paid for parking again (I don’t know how these city folks do it).  We got in line to go into the aquarium.  Yeah, a line to get to another line to get to another line to buy tickets and THEN go in.  Mike looked at me and said, “If ever there was a day that the sharks were going to bust through the glass and eat some people, it would be today, and it would be us.”

So we bolted out of there, too.  At this point, we were so disgusted that we’d wasted our day that I just said, “Let’s just go to the West Side Market.”  Neither of us had been there, so at 3:51, we parked (FOR FREE) and walked up to the doors…only to realize that the West Side Market closes at 4:00.

So we had a quick 10 minute jaunt through and then said, “Well, let’s go home.”

Instead, we had Asian food and watched some Redbox movies.  And that was good enough for us.

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Posted by on February 27, 2012 in Daily Happenings


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If you can’t PARALLEL PARK, get off the road.

Okay, I have to say it–those farking cars that parallel park for you are going to RUIN THE HUMAN RACE.  Seriously?  Have we really lost the ability to parallel park ourselves?  Can we do nothing on our own anymore?  It’s not that farking hard!

And if you have your license and you’ve passed your maneuverability test, well damnit, you ought to be able to parallel park.

I am all for technology, people.  I work in it, I use it, I love it.  But at what point do we become helpless bags of skin that can’t even breathe without a machine?  But parking is something different.  Driving a car is a religious experience–one that shouldn’t be messed with.

Driving is the merging of man and machine, of power and control and force.  When I turned 16, nothing made me smile more than getting behind the wheel of my 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera and motoring down the road.  I controlled how fast I went, when I stopped, where I went.  I parked my car.  It was my machine to control.  And now we’re letting our cars control us.

Unacceptable.  If you can’t parallel park, get the hell off of the road.  If you can’t control a vehicle, I don’t want you behind the wheel.


Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Daily Happenings


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