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Proposal Planners? Are you farking kidding me?

Well, you get two posts today because I just saw this:  There are proposal planners to to help men pop the question.  This almost makes me as mad as hipster marshmallows.

As if paying out the butt for a wedding planner isn’t bad enough (I’ll attack this some other day), now men are to the point where they can’t even plan their own PROPOSALS?!

I blame a combination of the following:

  • Women have beat men into thinking that nothing short of a trip to Paris will do.
  • Men have become completely unoriginal.
  • And if they need a proposal planner because they can’t think of their own unique proposal, they probably don’t want to marry their lady anyway.
  • Women desire to document every thing that happens to them with a camera (which you can do for free)
  • And men’s complete “bewilderment” of romance.

All said combinations of this are stupid.

Paris is silly.  Men are afraid to be original. And ladies, you do NOT need to pay a photographer or have a proposal planner there to document your proposal!  If your man can’t ask one of his friends or your friends to hang slyly by and snap pictures while he pops the question, then he’s an idiot.

And I don’t care if men are bewildered by romance and don’t understand it.  Women don’t need you to act like the men in romance novels–all that matters is that you put a little thought into it.  If Mike proposed to me over a McDonald’s coffee (which is how we first started hanging out) or on a swing set (where we go to feel like kids again) or one of the places where we met in the middle when I was in NC and he was in PA, well hell.  I’d be happy with that.

Ladies, if you said yes to a planned proposal (which cost between $500 and $1200), let me know so I can come there and give you a mohawk before your wedding.  Think about this–that money could have gone toward your engagement ring, your honeymoon, or starting your new life together.

Despicable.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on January 17, 2012 in The Book of Love

 

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Moments Men are Allowed Expression of Total Vulnerability

I know.  Half of you are up in arms with my title already.  Who am I decide this, right?  Well it’s my blog, so I’M DECIDING TODAY!

You all know how big I am on gender roles.  I think it’s way more okay for women to cry on a regular basis than it is for men.  We are, after all, the emotional sex.  (YEAH, I said it.)  But I’m not disagreeing that women can be stronger than hell.  I mean, physically (lifting cars off of children) and emotionally (holding a family together in hard times, taking the brunt of the work, rarely getting thanked for it), and often mentally (8 soccer practices to remember and a career to balance with a home life and raising babies and all of that).  Women have a lot going on!

And so do men, I’m sure.  But men (according to me on my perch over here) have less of a right to be emotional.  And I think they just are less emotional in general.  I mean, seriously–guys don’t watch The Notebook and think, “Gosh, if I could only have a girl like Allie.”  Nope.  They’re thinking, “Damn, I wanna bang a chick walking up the stairs like Noah did.”

I think we can all agree that our brains/genetic make-up/hearts are different.

I know it makes me a bitch, but when men get over-emotional for no reason, I kind of secretly (not so secretly
anymore) deduct man points from them.  It’s like, “You’re a man, dude.  Hold it together.”  I like Marlboro Men, Old Spice Men, Men like Achilles in Troy.

But there are instances when men should be allowed to express complete vulnerability, emotion, sadness, whatever.  They’re allowed to break down.  So when is this acceptable?

  1. When they’re alone.  Always.
But in front of others?
  1. When they’re at a funeral.  Death is always worth crying for.
  2. When they propose (this is one of the most pivotal points in a man’s life.  He’s bound to shed a tear or be nervous).
  3. When they get married.
  4. When their children are born.
  5. When their wives or children are suffering.
  6. When they feel inadequate.
  7. When they’re in immense pain.
Well, that’s 8.  And the proposal and marriage (should) only happen once in a lifetime.  So that leaves 5 situations that could happen more than once.  If one of these situations is not happening, men should be acting like men:  crawling out from under trucks they just fixed, lugging timber across the yard to heat the house, holding doors open for women, carrying the heavier box, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Happy Friday!
 
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Posted by on October 7, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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April Fools!! – MY BOYFRIEND PROPOSED TO ME!

Okay, my Catholic guilt attacked me.  It’s not true.

 

I’M GETTING MARRIED!

I’m making the move from housegirlfriend to housewife!  I’m so excited!  Pictures and more later!  I wondered why Mike came early this weekend–and now I get it.  I’m so lucky.

 

 

APRIL FOOLS.

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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