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Tag Archives: rules
You heard right. Now that I’m 26, I’m giving myself some rules. Ever since my birthday, I’ve suffered from a severe feeling of inadequacy–like I’m not doing something right, or that I’m going to start doing something wrong. I need it to quit. And this is my solution.
26th Year Rules (presented as “To Erica, From Erica”)
• NO getting drunk. Wine is fine. A glass of beer now and again, also fine. But if you drink till you impair your driving, you broke the rule.
• In the spirit of learning something from Lent, let’s keep the cussing to a minimum. You’re an adult who might have kids someday soon. You might want to start taming the potty mouth now.
• Eat more sushi (leave me alone, you hippies).
• Go home (parents’ home) more often, for no reason at all.
• If it’s not raining, and not below freezing, ride your bike to work.
• Learn to cook something other than casserole.
• Learn downtown Cleveland, so you don’t freak out every time you go there.
• Grocery shop more than once every two months.
• Go out in the rain.
• Have fresh flowers in the house (this is an adult thing, no?)
• Go on at least two vacations.
• Accept that you are not a bean pole.
• Attend more events that require you to dress up.
• Smile more. (I never thought I’d have to tell myself this.)
• Quit looking so far into the future. You have no control over it.
• Continue to preach against sunscreen and anti-bacterial.
• Maintain an anxiety-free lifestyle.
• Do more things that scare you.
• Stop trying to jump the gun.
• Shoot more guns.
• Pick a hobby that belongs only to you.
• Visit friends from college.
• Quit fretting.
• Pray more.
• Find a Catholic church to go to.
• Put others first.
26 rules for the new 26-year-old.
When I was a senior in high school, I only applied to two colleges. I knew where I wanted to go, and that place was Ashland University. (I applied to the other place so I could have more than one school under my name on the senior bulletin board at school.)
See, I was a bit of a scaredy cat about being away from home, and my cousin Heidi would be a senior at Ashland during my freshman year, so I felt like I had a little back-up and guidance for my first year of living away. So she was a security blanket. 🙂
And oh did I love Ashland. LOVED it. I felt at home there immediately, and actually started enjoying myself. But while all my friends were off at rule-lacking colleges like BGSU and The Ohio State University, I was starting to realize how conservative Ashland was.
These are the rules that people laugh at when I say them:
1) The closest guys got to girls in terms of living situations was co-ed by floor. i.e. girls only floors, and guys only floors. There was no mixing. We had very quiet sleepovers.
2) You had to live on campus until you were 22–which meant dorms until you were of senior status and could live in the senior apartments.* You could get around this buy claiming residence within a certain radius of the university and becoming a “commuter.”
3) *this is where the * comes in. If you made one mistake, you couldn’t live in the senior apartments anyway. So I drank my freshman year, got caught, and 4 years later, it bit me in the ass and I couldn’t live in the senior apartments. Hello, dorm room.
4) Any boy on a girls’ floor (or girl on a boys’ floor) after 11:00 pm had to be escorted by someone of that floor’s gender in the hallways. (This meant walking boys downstairs to the community bathrooms so they could pee after 11:00 pm). We ran down guys’ hallways at 3:00 am as fast as we could so the RAs and RDs wouldn’t hear us.
5) Boys were NOT allowed on girls’ floors after 2:00 am AT ALL. And vice versa. Again: We ran down guys hallways at 3:00 am as fast as we could so the RAs and RDs wouldn’t hear us and learned to be VERY quiet.
6) Dry campus. No alcohol whatsoever. You couldn’t find someone who can open a beer can more quietly than an Ashland University student. So what if I was in Amstutz at 3:30 am with my roommate on a guys’ floor drinking Natty Lite out of plastic cups and Safety Services Cathy happened to walk by and “smell alcohol”?
Now, for a Judeo-Christian campus, these all seem like good rules. I know universities that have a rule stating that if there are guys and girls in one room, all feet must be kept on the floor (so as to avoid lying down…so as to avoid booty).
And while these rules were obnoxious sometimes, I have to say that it made it a lot more fun.
Of course none of these rules stopped us. But it rather made it a game. It was FUN to see if we could get away with it. And we did. 🙂 Except my sorry senior ass had to live in a dorm room. Oh well!