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Why Women Won’t Admit What They Do Between the Sheets Alone

A question that Matt also raised at the bar:  Why won’t women admit that they masturbate?

The simple answer is this:  Because we don’t.

Happy Wednesday!

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2011 in Daily Happenings

 

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“Use me and I’ll set you on fire, bastard.”

To keep with the media favorites theme for another day, I thought I’d talk about my favorite TV show.

I used to jump around a lot on this.  Currently, I enjoy Parenthood and The Middle.  I love Modern Family and Raising Hope.  But these aren’t classics yet in my mind.  I absolutely LOVED October Road, but that lasted all of what, two seasons?

Besides Raising Hope, the majority of the shows that I like are shows that most closely represent real life.  Real people.  Real situations.  Without being reality TV, because reality TV is so far from the truth, that it’s not worth watching anymore.  I’ve begun grouping Reality TV with Anime; they’re both so fake.

In writing, they say that fiction is supposed to come as close to real life as possible.  But if you’re writing nonfiction, no one wants to hear an everyday story, which is why we get all the memoirs about drug addicts and sex fiends and blah blah blah.  Maybe we’ve distorted our television based on this principal, because reality TV is ridiculous and wild…and the classic, good shows are the ones that have more truth than what we deem to be reality.

Parenthood, The Middle, and Modern Family are great right now.  But they’re too new to rely on yet.  I relied heavily on October Road, but that disappeared pretty quickly.  So what show stands the test of time?

ROSEANNE

Seriously…does it get more real than this?  What television mother told it like it was more than Roseanne?  Whose house looked the most realistic?  Who actually struggled to pay the bills sometimes?

And who was funnier? 

Roseanne: (to Crystal who’s been passing out things from her company, Cindy Lou Cosmetics) Whad’ya bring me?
Crystal: bath beads, made with real milk
Roseanne: Well great, then when I’m soaking and I get hungry, I’ll just add some Cheerios.

Or what about this one?


 

Roseanne Conner: Remember the Beatles had that song, “Run for your life” by the Beatles? Where the guy says he’d rather see her dead than with another guy. That’s all them wife beaters need is an anthem.

Roseanne Conner: Remember the song where the guy says ‘don’t get hooked on me? I’ll use you and set you free’? Use me and I’ll set you on fire, bastard.
And I’m not saying that my family is anything like the Conners, but there are distinct similarities.

Growing up in a small town in the Midwest.

Daddy worked blue collar.

Annoying little brother.

Aunts who were always around.

Never had a pet.

All I’m saying is that Roseanne is a classic, and it shouldn’t be looked over.

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2010 in Daily Happenings

 

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