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Tag Archives: woman

Call for Crafty Help

CALLING YOU CRAFTY PEOPLE who know how to crochet or knit.

Lindsay, I hope you’re still reading my blog, because I know you could help me with this.  I want to make the afghan that sat on the back of Roseanne’s couch for the majority of the seasons.

See it?  Isn’t it wonderful and gaudy and lovely?!  I want to make it.  So who’s going to help me?

I found the pattern here and here (they seem different to me) and if anyone can help me get this started/done, I would really appreciate it!  Because I mean, seriously, how sexy would this look on the back of my couch?

 
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Posted by on April 17, 2012 in Domesticity

 

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“A Good Wife Always Knows Her Place” Hell, even I don’t believe that.

My friend Greg sent me this yesterday.  You can click it to see it a little bit bigger.

Click to see the larger version

Now, I’m sure you all know that I long for some sort of return to the 1950’s housewife…but in order for you to see (ahem, Jarvis) that I am somewhat level-headed about gender roles, women’s rights, and all that bullshit, I will say this:

About 1/4 of the things on this list are CRAP.

  • For instance:  Eliminating all noise?  Pfff.  A noisy house is a happy house.  It’s kind of on par with what Roseanne says in her sitcom when someone walks into her house:  “Excuse the mess, but we live here.”  Damn straight.
  • Second instance of crap:  “Listen to him.  You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first–remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.”  HA HA HA.  My ass.
  • Third instance:  “Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night.  Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.”  Ha.  Yeah, that’s how you enable him to cheat.  Letting him go out without question.
  • Fourth crappier instance:  “Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.  Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.”  He’s not a child–he’s a man.  And although there’s a fine line between the two, he can take off his own damn shoes.
  • CRAPPIEST instance:  “You have no right to question him.”  My ass.  I do, so.

So you can all shut up about me single-handedly setting us women back to the 1950’s.  I only wanna go 3/4 of the way back.

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2011 in Domesticity

 

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