Reliving Xanga. Um…what?

I don’t know if it was the wine.  I don’t know if it was my blog stats.  I don’t know if it was a Facebook post or what that triggered it, but I wondered how my Xanga was–the Xanga I started in 2002.

And oddly enough, I remembered my username and password on the first try.  Then OH MY GOD.  If you were reading my Facebook posts last night, you know where this is going.  That’s right–into a time warp nostalgia crackhead place.  Ho. Lee.  Shit.

I was so emo!  ”I’m so depressed.”  ”I want to be in a mausoleum.”  ”Why is life so hard?”

…wow.

It was so cool to have a Xanga back in the day.  So cool.  :)  I think of it now as my pre-blog.  But Lord…was it terrible.  I wrote some terrible poetry.  I spelled things the British way.  I complained a lot…

Well, here.  You can see for yourself.

 

Finding my “-er”

People tend to identify themselves but some of the activities that they do.  Mike, for instance, is a mapper.  He’s also a fisherman, a hunter, an musician.

My mom is a mother…which she chose to be.

Me?  I’m a daughter, and a sister…neither of which I had any say in, but I do truly enjoy.  They’re not something I chose to do though. They’re not activities.

I can describe myself in adjectives:  happy, odd, not-so-well traveled, cheap, free.  But I don’t have an “-er” beyond “sister” and “daughter”.  I’m not a golfer or a softball player.  I’m not a runner or a hiker or a climber.  I do some of these things–I joined a softball league and I run, but I do not identify myself with those activities.

And we’ve talked about how I write, but I am not a writer. I am not a musician. I am not a cook.  I am not a baker (yet…am I right, Mike? ).

I don’t do activity that I enjoy so much that I want to identify myself with it.  What does that mean?  I want to be a wife and a mother someday.  Those are things I will choose and will enjoy…but shouldn’t I have something to be until then?  I’m not a crafter or a decorator.  I am not a quilter or a seamstress.

I suppose I am a dreamer.  And I suppose I am an avid Roseanne fan.  And I do love the Cleveland Indians and baseball, but not so much so that I can define myself by any of it.

I think this goes back to me needing a hobby.  But it seems it’s deeper than that.  It seems to me that I need a self-defining activity.  This ought to be interesting.

 

Whatta Weekend! And Happy Birthday, Mike!

It was a good one.  Lemme tell you.

Cleveland can be fun.

Friday night, I went downtown (Cleveland) for a friend’s bachelorette party.  We saw a comedy show at Hilarities, ate at Pickwick & Frolic, and then hit Flannery’s, the Mexican place (can’t remember the name) and The Corner Alley.  It was a lot of fun!  I had never really “done” East 4th Street before.

So I got to see two girls from college, made some new friends, and got to go out on the town.  The next morning, I drove to Pennsylvania where Mike and I took a 22 mile bike ride down the Allegheny River, rented some movies (3 Ninjas, baby!) and went out to dinner for Mike’s birthday.

 

Mike’s birthday is TODAY!  Just in case you were wondering.  (I always get a little sad about this because we

can never be together on our birthdays.  My wish for his birthday–and my own–and every other opportunity I have to make a wish is that we can be together every day from now on.)

And on Sunday, we did my favorite thing.  We did the domestic thing.  We washed cars, went to the grocery store, went shopping, cooked dinner, watched television.  It was perfect.  It makes me really think about the trend we started when we started leaving each other for jobs.   We’re meant to be.  Make a wish when you blow out your candles without me, Baby.

Happy Birthday, and I love you!

 

 

On Running…

I’ve talked about running before.

Let me make it clear that I am by no means a “runner”.  I run.  But I am not a runner.  It’s kind of like “I write, but I am not a writer.”  You can ask me about that another day.

Lots of people at my work run, and they enter raises, and they go long distances, and I’m impressed.  They train, and they have the drive to do this type of stuff.

Me, on the other hand, I don’t have that drive.  My drive to run is based solely on making my body smaller and healthier.  So I do not enter races, and I run about 4-5 miles a night.  That’s it.

One of my past professors, dear friend, and overall one of my favorite people ever, is a runner.  Hardcore.  For years, he has wanted to take me to get fitted for proper running shoes–and I am finally going to go.  My ankles and knees are achy.  I think it’s time.

Maybe this will change my stance on running.  But for now, it’s just a way to stay healthy.

 

Falling Into (My) Place

There are a certain number of things that are falling into place, coming to fruition, or that I am learning to accept.

Friendships (that I thought were too damaged to reconcile or too far lost to find again) are coming back.

Chances are being given where it seemed there were no chances left.

I am trying not to be so cheap…and to enjoy my life rather than “miser” it into a bank account.

I’m making time for the really important things/people/activities.

There are major things to look forward to, like going back into time on Memorial Day weekend with the girls I went to college with.

My eye finally quit twitching (as much).

I have friends that I go out with and have fun with and that truly make me feel like Brunswick is becoming my home.

There are plans for the weekends.

My jeans are getting bigger (read:  I am getting smaller).

My relationship is stronger than ever…and there are chances that we could be together soon.

It all just feels good.  Let’s hope this keeps up.  It’s all rather harmonious.

(PS, I used to wear a ying-yang necklace every day in elementary school.  I thought I was so cool.)

 

 

Sure, I’ll Talk About Amendment One in NC

But only because I’m a former resident.

I think you all know how I felt about my time in Wilmington, North Carolina.  I enjoyed certain parts of it, but when it came down to brass tracks, I always wanted to go home to the north coast, to Ohio.

I was continuously yelled at and reprimanded for my views, for the men that I dated, for the way I asked about the gender of an unborn child.  My views on sunscreen and the word gypped pissed people off.  Wilmington, North Carolina was a little too willy-nilly for me…and it’s apparently one of the more liberal towns.  Yet everything I said was judged and taken to be offensive, when it reality I think more tolerance could have been practiced.

I’m told that I’d love the western part of the state…which is where I think the majority of the 60% that turned down gay marriage live.  Perhaps I would like some parts of western NC, but I belong in the North.

Sure, I’ll lose some followers when I say this, but I think it’s worth being said.  While I am conservative in many aspects of my life (government, money, etc.), I am much more liberal in the social aspect of things.  And while I may not be way off to the left socially, I do believe that we need to loosen up.

So when Amendment One passed in North Carolina yesterday, I can honestly say I felt some sadness.  I knew plenty of gay and lesbian couples when I lived there.  And while I refuse to get preachy and talk about rights, I will say that I have no problem with the civil union of gay and lesbian couples.  Now, I will also say this–I was raised a Catholic…and I am a conservative…and I AM from Ohio.  It would be dishonest of me to not say that the thought of church weddings in this respect does make me a little antsy.  But gay marriage in general does not.

My friend Daniel married his partner of 15 years on May 8th, 2012 in Washington, DC.  It wasn’t a destination wedding for fun–it was a destination wedding born out of necessity.  And that kinda sucks.

I’m very happy for Daniel and Ben, and for any couple that can unite in love legally.  Someday there will be tolerance.  I believe that whole-heartedly.

 

And Then Came the Lightning

I really didn’t want to play softball last night.  I drove to the fields and I was sitting in my car just praying for rain as I watched black clouds roll past my moon roof.  And nothing.

But at 8:15, everything let loose and there was cloud to ground lightning all over the place.  I was so thankful that the games were cancelled.

For the longest time, lightning and severe storms have fascinated me.  When I was younger, my cousin Meghan and I would sit in my father’s Jeep Wrangler, parked in the gravel driveway of my grandparents’ farm in Clyde.  We had just seen Twister and we were hooked.  We were storm chasers, and we chased tornadoes.

Ever since then, I’ve been the girl in the front yard waiting for the lightning to flash across the sky, or a strange cloud formation.  I want to be Jo Harding sometimes.

Wouldn’t hurt to have Bill Paxton, either.

There’s a man from my hometown that chases tornadoes named Allan Detrich.  Someday, I think it’d be fun to go along with him.  Maybe when I die, his team will fulfill my wishes to be sucked up into a tornado. Ha ha maybe not…

 

Cinco De Drinko

I had a great time this weekend at a Cinco De Mayo party.  It severely made me miss college.  :)  I enjoyed hanging out with all the folks I’ve met since I moved here.

Greg, I’m sorry for punching you.

Rich, I’m not sorry I stole your poncho.

Bunny, I’m sorry I yelled at you (Mike showed up)!

Plus, I got a sunburn!  Woop woop!  Yeah biatches (and Baz Luhrman), no sunscreen for this girl:

 

“Call Me Maybe” Has Taken Over YouTube…

And this office.  Dear God.  It’s all I hear!  And I hated it at first…but man oh man has it grown on me.

Enjoy!

 

Is It Memorial Day Weekend Yet?

Because I’m going camping.  CAMPING!  And I get to see the biatches from college.

Rachel, Me, Kay, Barbs, plus Shell and Aims!

I’m so excited.  We’re going to a cabin (and bringing tents) and we’re going to just have fun.  I’m incredibly excited.  So Memorial Day, hurry the crap up.  I need to climb some trees.