And Now I Have a Pig Heart…

So last night, I went to bed feeling quite unsettled.  I had the dream to prove it:

I was standing outside when two doctors pulled me inside and all of the sudden I was in my bedroom, but a very sterile version of it.  I wore a hospital gown and there were chest x-rays all over the room.  I was told I needed a new heart, and that they had one, but that I’d have to have the operation at that very second.

Without questioning anything, I agreed.  I stayed semi-awake for the operation.  I remember seeing my ribs and my skin splayed open and thinking, “I hope this works.”

They weren’t replacing it with a human heart, though.  They were using a pig’s heart.  I watched them pull my own heart from my chest, put it into a plastic bag and into a tank of formaldehyde, but the veins and arteries were still attached to it.  It was still beating.  With the pig heart in my chest, new veins and arteries were attached, and momentarily, I had two hearts.  They closed me up leaving just a tiny hole for the lines of my first heart.

When I was fully conscious, they told me to breathe deeply, and all at once, they cut the lines to my heart and the pig heart fluttered wildly, pounding against my rib cage to get back into the natural rhythm of things.  And then it did.

I felt relieved.  The doctor pushed on a couple of places and asked if it hurt.  I said no and lifted my hand to feel the stitches that went in a vertical line down my chest, and then looked up at a wall of photos from my past and although scarred, I knew that I was going to live.

CARMEN HELP!

 

More Baby Dreams…

Last night, I had a dream that I found out I was pregnant.

Again with these pregnancy dreams!  But the baby did not belong to Justin Bieber or to Jack Hannahan this time.  This time, it was Mike’s.

In my dream, we were not married, but we were living in the same place.  I went to the doctor and came back afraid to tell Mike I was pregnant.  When I told him, he got really excited and hugged me.  Then we went to tell my parents (who were less than thrilled that we weren’t married) but we told them that we were going to get married and then everything seemed okay.

When I woke up, I was still as shocked in my conscious state as I was in my unconscious state that Mike was excited.

It was all just very weird.

Perhaps this is because I filmed a video with nine kids for work last night.  And maybe it’s because the last episode of Melissa & Joey (yes, I watch it) involved Joe thinking he knocked up his ex-wife.

Or maybe it’s just high time I have kids.

 

I Dream of Bieber

O.o

Alright dream interpreters, I need you again.  Carmen?  Where are you?

I fell asleep last night.  In the middle of the night, I dreamt of Bieber.

Wha?

It was not a dirty dream.  Rather, it was a dream that just felt weird.  I met Bieber, but it wasn’t like I was 20 years older than him (like I feel now).  Bieber and I flirted for a hot minute.  Then all of the sudden I was in his backyard watching the Cleveland Indians play baseball.  Up close. 🙂

And then I was holding a baby.  Cutest baby in the world.  And she was mine!  A fuzzy little purple onesie and a cute little nose nuzzled in my neck, and she fell asleep on me.  And then there was a little baby boy, and darnit was he cute, too.

It was a very calming and happy feeling…as long as the babies didn’t belong to Bieber.  Although…then I wouldn’t have to worry about starting college funds.

 

Dream Interpretation?

Okay, so I was a super lazy housegirlfriend this morning (mostly because I cleaned all night) and I slept in until 11…but it was only because I was having dreams I wasn’t ready to give up on.  Now, those of you who know me absolutely know that I can’t interpret a dream.

I recall a night in the ER with Amy, Carmen, and Loretta while darling Amy was fearing appendicitis and we were all by her side.  So with Amy in a snazzy hospital gown, Cosmo magazines all around, and a bunch of pissed off nurses walking by our thin curtain walls, I was talking about all these dreams I had about being pregnant, and I mean there were a lot of them.  I even asked my students what they made of it.  Don’t worry.  According to Carmen, who is my #1 dream interpreter, I am lacking something, beginning something new, and I was evaluating my relationship with live-in boyfriend who you all hear about so much, Mike.

So calling Carmen, and the rest of you again, to tell me what this means:

I was climbing the stairs to my friend Mikey’s (not the same guy as boyfriend) house and found him playing video games.  Then all of the sudden, the same place was my house, and my mother came over.  I had two of the older housewives from the neighborhood over with their dogs (two Basset Hounds, a black lab, two Akitas, and Mikey’s German Shepherd Sable) and they were gossiping.  One had brought their baby girl, dressed in red on a tiny pillow.  And I mean tiny.

One of the housewives asked for a deck of cards.  My mom said no.  Then the housewives wanted dinner.  Mom said she’d order a pizza.  It was evident that she did not want these women around me.  And then they began talking about how she was under the thumb of my father.  So I stood up to take my mom into another room.  Before I stood, though, I was holding a Basset, the lab, and the baby.  But the baby was ridiculously tiny.  As I stood to hand her back to her mother, her head was so tiny that it rested on my fingertip with plenty of room all around it.  And she was that small when they had handed her to me, hence the ability to hold two dogs and a baby on my lap.  Then my very first boyfriend’s mother was standing in the room with us and my  mom knew her, so finally calmed down and spoke to her.

Then I woke up from some texts, and fell back to sleep and dreamt I was in a huge golden field.  It was absolutely gorgeous, and I was enjoying just looking around.  And then my very first boyfriend was perched on a stone bench.  He kept looking at me like he knew I was confused by the change in surroundings, but it maintained his spot on the stone bench, as stable and steady as always.  He kept asking me if I remembered specific things, and for some reason, I had been remembering exactly what he was talking about.  And everything he talked about, I had a painting for, a recently painted painting of white birch trees and big brown mountains, and the light was always doing something interesting in the paintings.

Occasionally I was transported into a window in my grandparents’ farmhouse in Clyde, Ohio, where my cousins were mocking me about something and I kept wanting to go away.  At the window, I stared at my grandfather’s old drive-thru/carry-out store, and all the rocks in the driveway were clear, glassy, and colorful.  And I kept trying to collect them, but I was flying.  I was flying so high that I couldn’t always grab the stones.  I wanted to reach down, and with my feet tumbling over my head, finally I surrendered to it and left myself flip all the way over.

Then all the sudden, outside the window, there was the Atlantic, just like Wrightsville Beach in NC.  And the waves got huge and a sea lion shot out onto the beach with a sea lion cub.  People chased it down, but there were hundreds of sea lions and cubs coming out of the water and onto the beach.  It was miraculous.  but I couldn’t jump from my window because I’d lost my ability to fly.  And I wanted to get back to the glassy rocks and the field, but these men I didn’t know came up to my window and began asking me a bunch of questions about running, and swimming in the ocean, and humidity, and what I thought of all these sea lions.  All I could keep saying was that at home in the North, I could do so much more.  I was better there than I was by the sea.

So there you go.  What’s all that mean?