I posted a poll this morning on my Facebook…and I was shocked with the volume of response.
The Question: Can you wear jewelry from ex-boyfriends when a new boyfriend is in the picture? Does it matter based on the meaning behind each piece of jewelry (i.e. earrings you just really wanted as opposed to a promise ring)?
We’ll get to everyone’s responses, but first, let’s take inventory:
From Phill, who I dated from age 15-18:
A copper ring, with which he proposed to me on my sixteenth birthday, out in the driveway behind my father’s truck. I wore this ring on my left ring finger until we split in early 2003. (STILL HAVE)
A key pendant, the “Key to His Heart” (STILL HAVE)
A crucifix necklace (as my dear friend Gina will remember, the tiny gold Jesus fell off of the silver cross in a Creative Writing class at Ashland University.) (LOST)
From B****, who I “dated” for about 2 years:
A “promise” ring that I got for my birthday. (STILL HAVE)
NOTE: Everything about this relationship was parenthetical.
The Tiffany Infinity Cross (STILL HAVE)
The Tiffany Elsa Peretti Heart with Diamond (STILL HAVE)
A promise ring (STILL HAVE)
From “douche” in post from last week:
Ruby and white sapphire journey collection. (PAWNED–and then I got rip-roaring drunk on the money)
A “Tiffany” (yes folks, someone tried to pull imitation Tiffany over on me) necklace and matching ring. (I no longer obtain these, are they were given back to giver upon his request).
From Mike, my darling wonderful amazing boyfriend, Mike:
Swirly diamond earrings:
A GORGEOUS 1-year anniversary ring:
And diamond stud earrings:
That said, I feel odd wearing anything but the last three things. I did the poll to see how everyone else felt. And this is what I got:
Danielle: I’d say if it represented your commitment, then its tacky but if it was a gift of holiday or just because, wear it! 🙂
Ryan: I don’t know why I’m answering this. But:
Overall I think it depends on what the jewelry is, what the occasion was, and how expensive it is. If it’s a nice pair of earrings you got for your birthday, I don’t see a problem with it. If it’s a …cheap vending machine ring he got you on your fifth date, or something explicitly romantic like a locket or charm from an anniversary, then it’s questionable.
If it’s some blingin’ ass jewelry that’s just jewelry, no big deal. Also, there’s not really a need to bring up where you got it.
I should get a hobby.
Mandy: I personal tend to get rid of jewelery from an ex. This is always why I don’t like guys getting me jewelery, especially if it’s something I really like.
Danielle: Personally, I feel guilty wearing any jewelry that was given to me by an ex. I don’t think Nick would have a problem with it, but for some reason I’m not comfortable with it.
Aubrie: If its nice jewelry, then do what I did and take it to a jeweler and trade it in for cash. (granted, it was only like $30, but hey, I’d rather have the $40 then a stupid ring laying around.) If its something shitty from not the counter at Walmart, throw that shit away. Everything has memories attached to it, and if it’s from an ex, then chances are they aren’t the better of the memories.
Mike (poetry professor in grad school): Ask him to lunch, on the way ask him to stop at a Goodwill, and let him watch as you give the old stuff away. It’s romantic.
Kristen: I would say no and agree with Aubrie, everything has memories attached to it and those memories are better left to forget.
Jason: Keep it and wear it out of spite. No matter what! Never give it back. P.S. Promise rings are stupid. 😛
Erin: I second Ryan’s opinion, but then I was thinking about it, and turning the situation around, I don’t think I’d want Jesse hanging onto gifts from an ex. So, go with Mike’s suggestion. 🙂
Erica: Well, I think it depends on your relationship to the jewelry. If you see it as a continuing commitment (which obviously you don’t, because you are now in another commitment with mike) then I would get rid of it. If you see it as pretty jewelry, wear it! You know I still wear my cross necklace! It doesn’t mean I’m still fawning over my ex, I just like the necklace and there were good memories! What’s mikes opinion?
Beki: I gave one piece to a family member who liked it. I still have another that’s too nice to give away or sell. I don’t wear it though. It’s a big heart shape, ha ha. If I ever have a daughter I’ll give it to her. If I’m not interested in the guy anymore, wearing the jewelry feels awkward.
Jarvis: Ultimately, it is about guilt. If you feel guilty about it, you shouldn’t do it. If you don’t, then you should. Now, your current man might try and make you feel guilty, but that is another conversation. Also, you might wonder why he do…esn’t care. But, I mean, it is just stuff. In a hundred years, where is that nice necklace going to be? Where are we going to be? Will we be here? And where is “Here” exactly? I drink out of a mug one of my girlfriends gave me five years ago. Do I remember her name? Of course not. Let age rain down the wisdom upon you. What day is it? I’m sleepy.
Scott: no and no. We are jealous and want you just for ourselves! (maybe you should not tell him someone else bought them for you?!)
Nick (the aforementioned ex who gave me my first Tiffany necklace: My poll- do you want my opinion on this? Ha ha
Jessica-a conniving old student: Girllll, you wear that jewelry, he doesn’t have to know where you got it 🙂 “Oh this old thing” mwahahaha.
Craig (via text): Earrings are ok. Necklaces are pushing it. Rings are a no.
I laughed my butt off at most of these comments. You’re all truly hilarious. I no longer wear the “promise rings.” We actually had an interesting idea for them. I was going to melt them all into one ring and call it the “Ring of Broken Promises.”
I do wear the Tiffany. IT’S TIFFANY FOR CRIPE’S SAKE!
I think everything is okay but the rings. You could change my mind, though, if your evidence was good enough. Happy Tuesday!